Laine

5 Things to Do Before You Go to Parent Teacher Conferences

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Parent Teacher conferences; what did you learn about your child?

Most conferences cover the academics, is your child doing well in school? That means can they pass the tests and do they turn in their homework? You also probably learned about your child’s social skills. Are they making friends, being “too social” (talking too much) or getting lost in the crowd?

As a teacher, I loved the opportunity to talk with parents about their children. As a parent I was very intimidated and nervous about those conferences until I understood them and myself better.  If your child is not on an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) or a 504 accommodation plan then you may not interact with your child’s teacher very often (unless there is a problem). So when you arrive at these conferences you may be not be ready for what comes up.

You are part of the team that involves your child, the teacher, the department of education and you. The Department of Elementary and Secondary Education provides the goals that your child needs to attain (they call them standards) at each grade. If your child is not learning these, then their grades will show it. Your teacher is part of that equation, but your child is the other part. Teachers cannot force your child to learn but they can find other ways to make sure that they are getting the skills and knowledge they need. Your job is to make sure that things at home are calm and helpful and that learning and homework are taken seriously. You provide the help when the teacher cannot.

Recommendations for your next parent teacher conference:

  • Review your child’s recent work. Notice any trends, weak areas and strengths so that you can talk about them with your child first and then be prepared to discuss them with the teacher.
  • Talk with your child about how things are going in school. Get specifics about who are his friends, what does he like best about school and what is the least favorite part of school. You may have to advocate for your child as they may not be comfortable advocating for themselves (ex. can’t see the board, can’t hear other student comments, being “bothered” or bullied by a classmate, etc.) so be sure to get details.
  • Keep track of how long your child spends on homework. Ask how the homework is graded (checked off or actually reviewed and graded).
  • If your child struggles with homework, write down some of the strategies you have tried with him or her and be ready to ask for other suggestions from the teacher.
  • Ask about teacher expectations and you will find out what is important to your child’s teacher. If your child meets those expectations, then they will probably get good grades.

Teachers are concerned with how your child is learning when compared to other kids in the class. It often does not concern them if you think your child is not working to their potential as long as they are on par with their peers.

Watch your child study for a test. Do they tend to read and reread the chapter and then do poorly on the test? Or do they really know how to study different subjects using their learning style and strategies that work? If you think your child is working hard and is still not getting the grades then it may be because they haven’t really learned how they learn best. The End Homework Hassle E-Learning Course sends daily emails to your child and organizes, teaches and coaches them through skills and strategies for learning. Help them work smarter and not harder by learning the skills they need to succeed. More information can be found at www.endhomeworkhassle.com

Thanks for reading. As always I welcome your comments below.

Laine

Backpack Do’s and Don’ts

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backpack

The first term is coming to an end in the next week. How is your child/teen doing so far this year? Did they start off strong and then start to slip? Do you find yourself reminding them to do their homework and still find they have “surprise” last minute projects or tests? It can be frustrating, I know. What I have noticed in my work with students is that sometimes parents are “too close” and your voice becomes like Charlie Brown’s mother’s (wahhh wahhh wahhh). Sometimes having your child/teen be accountable to someone else is helpful.

Let’s take a look at your backpack today. First, go get it and take it to the bathroom and weigh it. If it won’t balance on the scale you can weigh yourself without holding it and then with it….and then do the math.

1. Weight of backpack = __B__

2. Your weight x .10 = ___A___

3.  Is B ≥ A?

If the backpack weighs more than 10% of your weight, then try to take out what you don’t need. Some students bring home all their books because they don’t want to check their agendas for the homework they have and bring it all home, just in case.

For example if you weigh 100 pounds, your backpack should weigh 10 pounds or less or you could be hurting your back, neck or shoulders.

Use both straps so the weight is distributed on both shoulders. Allow the backpack to sit just below the back of your waist. Too high and you put a strain on your back, too low and you strain your shoulders. Leave what you don’t need in your locker. Consider having a backup set of books at home. Lighten the load by using one notebook instead of four if possible.

If your bag still weighs more than 10% of your weight, try to remember to stretch out those muscles after carrying it and if they continue to ache, mention it to your parent.

That’s it for today. Now which subject will you do first today?

To your success,

Laine

New Season, New Start: Goal Setting for Autumn

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Happy AutumnHappy Autumn! It is now officially autumn and I can see some of the leaves starting to change color here in the northeast. I love fall but I sometimes feel that it is the shortest season of all. Before you know it the cold temperatures will be here with the excitement (notice I didn’t say stress) of the holiday season.

A new season for me means a new start but also serves as a reminder that the year is coming to an end. In fact there are only 98 days left to the year. Isn’t that scary? The reason I know that is thanks to Gary Ryan Blair who runs a “100 day challenge” program. I love the concept that it is not time to give up but rather time to push harder to get those goals off the list so come January 1st you are proud of what you have accomplished and motivated to keep going.

So, I’m taking a different approach this season. I am not going to go crazy (please hold me to that) by taking on EVERYTHING I want to get done between now and winter. Instead I am going to focus on three goals for October, three for November and maybe one for December. The reason I say three is because you can’t just look at one piece of your life without realizing how everything else is related. For instance, if you have low energy, then you can’t possibly be as effective at work or at home. Coaches may use different names for each category but the basic “parts” of your life can be broken down into categories such as; health, money, career, relationships, fun and recreation, physical environment, family, spiritual and personal growth. So I picked three goals for October in the areas of health, home and business. I know that announcing them publicly is the way to make me more accountable. You will check in on me, won’t you?

Here are my SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time specific) goals:

1. Health: I will work out or be physically active three or more days a week for 30 minutes or more for the month of October.

2. Home: I will redo my son’s room by the end of October.

3. Business: I will keep track of the hours I work and separate “work” from “my time” throughout October.

There! Now I am committed to those three goals. I deliberately made them easy to do so that I could be successful without killing myself. If I had said I will work out 5 or 6 days a week for 45-60 minutes, then once I failed, I wouldn’t want to keep going. So, make your goals not so tough that life events could cause you to fail, but also not so easy that you aren’t stretching yourself.

Now please use the comment box below to share your October goals (I’m giving you the last week of September to get ready) and let’s hold each other accountable.

If you’d like me to hold your son or daughter accountable for staying organized with their homework, then check out my End Homework Hassle E-Learning Course.

Thanks,

Laine

Back to School Euphoria Meets Reality

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Are you frustrated yet?
Are you frustrated yet?

Are you frustrated yet? It is only week two for many of you but I am already hearing about the homework hassles. The first couple of days the kids came home and got right to their homework. Then as the week went by that back to school euphoria seemed to fade and the struggle began.

The kids slipped back into their routine and you probably slipped back into yours. Is this how you want it to be this year? If so, then keep on following Einstein’s definition of insanity that says, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

If you have had enough and are ready to seriously make some changes, then now is the time.  It is not too late to take a look at what is happening at home during homework time and figure out ways to “fix” it. Talk with your child; they are almost certainly just as unhappy as you are. They may feel powerless to do anything about it, but together you might be able to come up with some ideas that will take some of the pressure off.

Here are a few things to get you started:

1. Timing? If your child is doing homework after the time they should be in bed then start right in within 30 minutes of them getting home don’t wait until after dinner to start. Chunk homework into sessions of about 30 minutes of work with a 5 minute break.

2. Environment? Do you put all the kids at the kitchen table so you can keep an eye on them while they work? Some kids need quiet, some need to work on the floor, and some just like to be close enough to hear others around. What does your child prefer?

3. Motivation? What is in it for your child? Rewards for great report cards are often too far away to provide any real motivation. Kids want things now. So what is it they can do when their homework is finished? Go to bed? For some of us, that would make us happy, but kids want to play. Make sure each day there is time for them to play and relax and do what makes them happy. If they have something to look forward to, they may be more motivated to get their “work” done first so they can enjoy their reward.

If you have found these tips to be helpful and would like to have someone else remind your child to do their homework, clean out their backpack, or start that long term project today then check out our E-Learning program that sends a daily email to teach, organize and coach your child to a successful year. What are you waiting for?

Top 5 Things To Do This Week To Get Organized for School (2)

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Good grades start at home
Good grades start at home

Don’t wait until school starts to think about getting organized. Do you remember how you felt during the last school year? Is there anything you would like to change for this year? Let’s reduce the stress and make sure you start this school year off organized and ready for anything.

1. Since this is the last week before most schools start, plan a special “end of summer” celebration. It could be a special all day fun event, or a dinner out. Whatever it is, celebrate the end of the summer and the beginning of a great school year. Talk with your child about the positives of going back to school and be honest with them if they have concerns. Having fun together is a great way to keep those communication lines open.

2. Hold a family meeting. A family meeting allows everyone to voice their opinions and concerns in a nonjudgmental setting. You might want to have an agenda the first time so that you stay on track but some topics typically covered are: responsibilities, routines for school, sport schedules, what’s coming up and any complaints anyone might have. Let only one person speak at a time and let the youngest be in charge now and then. Use this time for updating the calendar for the next week and be sure kids put their responsibilities into their agendas each week as well.

3. Use one family calendar. Whether you prefer electronic or paper calendars there should be one family (paper or whiteboard) calendar that is posted where all can see it. Update it during your family meetings to show each family member’s schedule in a different color. This teaches kids the concept of planning and also provides an easy visual for them to check each day to see what is coming up. They should have the same information in their own agenda/planner that is given to them by the school. This helps them to know how to plan their homework time in between soccer practice and a dentist appointment, be prepared for gym day and is the first step towards understanding time management.

4. Handling paper can be a challenge for anyone, but if you have a child or children in school it can easily get out of control. Have you ever “misplaced” an important form that needed to go back to school? This year set up a paper management system. Simply put, create an “in box” for each member of the family and have your child put papers that need to be signed, seen or read into your in box. Then when you have signed them, place them in your child’s inbox where they will pick them up and put them in their backpack each evening. If all papers go in one spot then they are not being moved for dinner (if left on the table) or piled in with the mail, etc. There are magnetic pockets, wood, metal or fabric wall pockets that hang or desk or counter top models that stack, find something that works for you and has at least a pocket for each family member. If there is an extra pocket, you can use it for incoming mail. Having one place for all mail to land until you have time to deal with it, will save you time and energy daily.

5. Create a launch pad and launch into an organized day. Do you leave things near the door so you will remember to take them with you? Then you are already using a launch pad or drop zone. If you create a specific place that is large enough for all family members, then everyone can start their day organized. I recommend packing backpacks, gym clothes and whatever else can be ready ahead of time (your stuff too) and placing them each evening, in the launch pad area. It makes it so much easier if everything your children need is all ready to go rather than trying to get them to get things together when they are half asleep. Give it a try and have a calmer morning.

If you have found these tips helpful and would like your child to receive daily email organization and study skills strategies to help them get and stay organized this year, then check out our e-learning course called End Homework Hassle and help your child start this year off organized and in control.

Top 5 Things To Do This Week to Organize for School

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Good grades start at home
Good grades start at home

1. Clean out your child’s closet with them and make room for the clothes they will be wearing to school this year. Pass along things that they won’t wear or that do not fit. No need to take up valuable “real estate space” with things they won’t wear. Do the same with the dresser. Hooks are great for hanging sweatshirts, jackets, pj’s and tomorrow’s clothes.

2. Together with your child, buy any school supplies they may need. Make sure the binder opens easily with one hand and will last till December (at least). Work with them to put them together in an organized way.

3. Be a reading role model. Set aside some evening time when the whole family reads either together or separately. Kids can work on their summer reading and you can catch up on those magazines.

4. Talk with your kids about what they want for lunches and/or snacks and work together to come up with a week’s worth of healthy ideas. Next week you can shop for them.

5. Start working towards the bedtime you want your child to have during the school year. Kids require 8.5-9.5 hours of sleep so calculate when their bedtime should be in order to wake up easily by the necessary time for school.

If you’re dreading the start of school and are hoping that this year will be different, then check out www.endhomeworkhassle.com. I’ll send daily reminders to your child or teen with tips and strategies so they can have an organized year.

Homework Hassles

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I can still remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. My son, frustrated at my hovering over his homework, looked up and said, “Mom, you are on me like a shirt!”

I was shocked! I thought I was being helpful. In retrospect, I was doing the opposite. I wasn’t allowing him to learn on his own, to develop critical thinking and problem solving skills, to become responsible and accountable to his teacher (rather than to me), or to learn self discipline. I was preventing him from learning all the skills I thought I was “teaching” him.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think it is important to be supportive of your child if they are having difficulty with their homework. Helping them problem solve without giving them the answers by getting them to “think aloud” through the process they went through can get them to figure out the next steps on their own.

The problems arise when we let our emotions get in the way of our relationship with our child. If your child has ADD/ADHD or executive function challenges then you face the added challenges of getting them to start their homework or to stick with it long enough to finish. This often leads to tension and frustration for both of you and ends up being worse than the homework itself.

Whether your child is in elementary, middle or high school, you want them to succeed and often that means trying to support them without nagging or helping them too much. As parents we get caught up in the “getting it done” mode and not the” how can we make this easier so it doesn’t happen again” mode. For example, by not teaching your child how to plan out a project but instead making his attempt to redeem himself at the last moment rather unpleasant. Then it should be no surprise that he will associate anger, frustration, and aggravation with a long term project that given the right circumstances, he might have actually enjoyed. End result: nothing learned.

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone else could teach them how to plan out that project and get it done ahead of time or learn how to study for a test so that a good grade was practically guaranteed? I don’t think it can be a parent because we are too close and too emotionally involved to be neutral. But a program that systematically teaches skills that are needed to be successful in school directly to your tween or teen through daily email lessons, now that is…..brilliant!

Watch for the launch of our new E-Learning Homework Course coming soon at: www.endhomeworkhassle.com

Family Calendars

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How do I keep track of my kid’s schedule and my own? Having one main calendar for the entire family to use to post appointments, practices, project due dates, and special events helps avoid overbooking and/or missed appointments. Let each family member use a different color marker or post it note on the calendar. Place the calendar in an obvious place so that it is frequently seen. I recommend the refrigerator. Yes, it’s nice to have all those pictures on there, but not if you are missing appointments and forgetting things.

Pick one day a week to review and plan the upcoming week with the family. Sundays work well for many busy families. If you use an electronic or paper planner also, then be sure to input the new information so that you are up to date. For students, make sure they enter their information directly into their school agenda. Ordinarily I suggest one calendar, but if multiple people are involved then there needs to be something that is constantly visible to all. Click on the calendar link above to see various sizes of planet safe planners that are wet, dry and sticky note compatible. Or simply print out a month or a week at a time calendar from Microsoft Word or Publisher. For those that prefer an electronic version, try a shared Google calendar provided everyone has easy access to it.

Keys? Keys? Where are my Keys?

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keysWhen was the last time you had to hunt for your keys? Were you late or just frustrated with yourself when you finally found them? Out of all the organizing tips I first learned (yes, it’s true I wasn’t born organized) this is the tip that has saved me the most time and aggravation – hang your keys on a hook near the door you use to go out. Sounds simple doesn’t it? What used to happen is that I would leave them in my coat pocket or pocketbook or drop them on the table which would then get covered with the mail and although they are a fairly substantial bunch of keys, they had the ability to become invisible. How else would you explain the fact that one minute they are not there and the next time you look in the same place – there they are?

Here’s what I suggest: create a launch pad area near where you exit the house that is large enough for all the important things you need when leaving. Place either a hook on the wall or place a specific basket there for your keys….and only your keys. You can also set up a charging station for your cellphone as that sometimes has stealth abilities also. The idea is to have a place for everything you need to head out the door. When you come back home, place things there, especially those keys and you’ll save yourself some time and aggravation.

I know the research says it takes 28 days to change a habit but “my research” says it’s more like 56 days. Oh, and set things in your launch pad area each evening so that you are ready to go in the morning without any hassle.

Here’s a flash from the distant past that adds a bit of humor to the drama of not being able to find your keys. Credit goes to Paul Peterson.

The Mysterious Cabinet Over the Fridge

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It is spring at long last and it is time to open the windows to clear the air.  Laine is right; spring cleaning is not like it was in our Grandmother’s day, we don’t have the lifestyles or the time to spend a whole month doing a major overhaul of the house, besides, houses are bigger now.  Because of this I find that sometimes little corners get overlooked, I clean and organize the pantry cabinet a few times a year, but when was the last time I cleaned that hard to reach cabinet over the fridge?  You know those cabinets that are so hard to reach you put little used items in them, spare light bulbs, ice buckets, and whatnots that you use once or twice a year.

I have to confess that when I spring clean my kitchen I go through all my “working cabinets” first, so that by the time it comes to tackling that one over the fridge I have run out of steam, and it gets left as a rainy day project. 

Today is raining.  I sit here planning my day and that pesky cabinet is talking to me, just what is up there anyways?  The left side has the chocolate candy molds I use for different holidays, they could be sorted by themes and maybe I should actually move them to the cellar, I’ve cleared and organized some shelves down there. But then what would go in this cabinet? Besides, what is on the other side? I used to keep the big crock-pot up there, but it was reassigned to the cellar a few years ago to make room for extra ice cube trays. I went through a phase of making fancy ice cubes in different shapes, I am over that now. I’ve cleared the fancy ice cube trays out to make room for…..what is up there???  Why am I keeping it? And just what am I making room for? The only solution to this mystery is to haul my chair over, climb up, clear the junk off the top of my fridge and go through that cabinet. Hey…… maybe I can put the stuff that is on top of the fridge in the cabinet, just what is up there and why am I keeping it? Do you have a mystery cabinet?

Thanks to our special guest blogger Sue V.

CHADD Parent to Parent Family Training Class starts April 26th in Norwell. Email us for a registration form. Hurry as registration ends April 20th.