Laine

Top 5 Things To Do This Week To Get Organized for School (2)

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Good grades start at home
Good grades start at home

Don’t wait until school starts to think about getting organized. Do you remember how you felt during the last school year? Is there anything you would like to change for this year? Let’s reduce the stress and make sure you start this school year off organized and ready for anything.

1. Since this is the last week before most schools start, plan a special “end of summer” celebration. It could be a special all day fun event, or a dinner out. Whatever it is, celebrate the end of the summer and the beginning of a great school year. Talk with your child about the positives of going back to school and be honest with them if they have concerns. Having fun together is a great way to keep those communication lines open.

2. Hold a family meeting. A family meeting allows everyone to voice their opinions and concerns in a nonjudgmental setting. You might want to have an agenda the first time so that you stay on track but some topics typically covered are: responsibilities, routines for school, sport schedules, what’s coming up and any complaints anyone might have. Let only one person speak at a time and let the youngest be in charge now and then. Use this time for updating the calendar for the next week and be sure kids put their responsibilities into their agendas each week as well.

3. Use one family calendar. Whether you prefer electronic or paper calendars there should be one family (paper or whiteboard) calendar that is posted where all can see it. Update it during your family meetings to show each family member’s schedule in a different color. This teaches kids the concept of planning and also provides an easy visual for them to check each day to see what is coming up. They should have the same information in their own agenda/planner that is given to them by the school. This helps them to know how to plan their homework time in between soccer practice and a dentist appointment, be prepared for gym day and is the first step towards understanding time management.

4. Handling paper can be a challenge for anyone, but if you have a child or children in school it can easily get out of control. Have you ever “misplaced” an important form that needed to go back to school? This year set up a paper management system. Simply put, create an “in box” for each member of the family and have your child put papers that need to be signed, seen or read into your in box. Then when you have signed them, place them in your child’s inbox where they will pick them up and put them in their backpack each evening. If all papers go in one spot then they are not being moved for dinner (if left on the table) or piled in with the mail, etc. There are magnetic pockets, wood, metal or fabric wall pockets that hang or desk or counter top models that stack, find something that works for you and has at least a pocket for each family member. If there is an extra pocket, you can use it for incoming mail. Having one place for all mail to land until you have time to deal with it, will save you time and energy daily.

5. Create a launch pad and launch into an organized day. Do you leave things near the door so you will remember to take them with you? Then you are already using a launch pad or drop zone. If you create a specific place that is large enough for all family members, then everyone can start their day organized. I recommend packing backpacks, gym clothes and whatever else can be ready ahead of time (your stuff too) and placing them each evening, in the launch pad area. It makes it so much easier if everything your children need is all ready to go rather than trying to get them to get things together when they are half asleep. Give it a try and have a calmer morning.

If you have found these tips helpful and would like your child to receive daily email organization and study skills strategies to help them get and stay organized this year, then check out our e-learning course called End Homework Hassle and help your child start this year off organized and in control.

Top 5 Things To Do This Week to Organize for School

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Good grades start at home
Good grades start at home

1. Clean out your child’s closet with them and make room for the clothes they will be wearing to school this year. Pass along things that they won’t wear or that do not fit. No need to take up valuable “real estate space” with things they won’t wear. Do the same with the dresser. Hooks are great for hanging sweatshirts, jackets, pj’s and tomorrow’s clothes.

2. Together with your child, buy any school supplies they may need. Make sure the binder opens easily with one hand and will last till December (at least). Work with them to put them together in an organized way.

3. Be a reading role model. Set aside some evening time when the whole family reads either together or separately. Kids can work on their summer reading and you can catch up on those magazines.

4. Talk with your kids about what they want for lunches and/or snacks and work together to come up with a week’s worth of healthy ideas. Next week you can shop for them.

5. Start working towards the bedtime you want your child to have during the school year. Kids require 8.5-9.5 hours of sleep so calculate when their bedtime should be in order to wake up easily by the necessary time for school.

If you’re dreading the start of school and are hoping that this year will be different, then check out www.endhomeworkhassle.com. I’ll send daily reminders to your child or teen with tips and strategies so they can have an organized year.

Homework Hassles

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I can still remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. My son, frustrated at my hovering over his homework, looked up and said, “Mom, you are on me like a shirt!”

I was shocked! I thought I was being helpful. In retrospect, I was doing the opposite. I wasn’t allowing him to learn on his own, to develop critical thinking and problem solving skills, to become responsible and accountable to his teacher (rather than to me), or to learn self discipline. I was preventing him from learning all the skills I thought I was “teaching” him.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think it is important to be supportive of your child if they are having difficulty with their homework. Helping them problem solve without giving them the answers by getting them to “think aloud” through the process they went through can get them to figure out the next steps on their own.

The problems arise when we let our emotions get in the way of our relationship with our child. If your child has ADD/ADHD or executive function challenges then you face the added challenges of getting them to start their homework or to stick with it long enough to finish. This often leads to tension and frustration for both of you and ends up being worse than the homework itself.

Whether your child is in elementary, middle or high school, you want them to succeed and often that means trying to support them without nagging or helping them too much. As parents we get caught up in the “getting it done” mode and not the” how can we make this easier so it doesn’t happen again” mode. For example, by not teaching your child how to plan out a project but instead making his attempt to redeem himself at the last moment rather unpleasant. Then it should be no surprise that he will associate anger, frustration, and aggravation with a long term project that given the right circumstances, he might have actually enjoyed. End result: nothing learned.

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone else could teach them how to plan out that project and get it done ahead of time or learn how to study for a test so that a good grade was practically guaranteed? I don’t think it can be a parent because we are too close and too emotionally involved to be neutral. But a program that systematically teaches skills that are needed to be successful in school directly to your tween or teen through daily email lessons, now that is…..brilliant!

Watch for the launch of our new E-Learning Homework Course coming soon at: www.endhomeworkhassle.com

Family Calendars

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How do I keep track of my kid’s schedule and my own? Having one main calendar for the entire family to use to post appointments, practices, project due dates, and special events helps avoid overbooking and/or missed appointments. Let each family member use a different color marker or post it note on the calendar. Place the calendar in an obvious place so that it is frequently seen. I recommend the refrigerator. Yes, it’s nice to have all those pictures on there, but not if you are missing appointments and forgetting things.

Pick one day a week to review and plan the upcoming week with the family. Sundays work well for many busy families. If you use an electronic or paper planner also, then be sure to input the new information so that you are up to date. For students, make sure they enter their information directly into their school agenda. Ordinarily I suggest one calendar, but if multiple people are involved then there needs to be something that is constantly visible to all. Click on the calendar link above to see various sizes of planet safe planners that are wet, dry and sticky note compatible. Or simply print out a month or a week at a time calendar from Microsoft Word or Publisher. For those that prefer an electronic version, try a shared Google calendar provided everyone has easy access to it.

Keys? Keys? Where are my Keys?

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keysWhen was the last time you had to hunt for your keys? Were you late or just frustrated with yourself when you finally found them? Out of all the organizing tips I first learned (yes, it’s true I wasn’t born organized) this is the tip that has saved me the most time and aggravation – hang your keys on a hook near the door you use to go out. Sounds simple doesn’t it? What used to happen is that I would leave them in my coat pocket or pocketbook or drop them on the table which would then get covered with the mail and although they are a fairly substantial bunch of keys, they had the ability to become invisible. How else would you explain the fact that one minute they are not there and the next time you look in the same place – there they are?

Here’s what I suggest: create a launch pad area near where you exit the house that is large enough for all the important things you need when leaving. Place either a hook on the wall or place a specific basket there for your keys….and only your keys. You can also set up a charging station for your cellphone as that sometimes has stealth abilities also. The idea is to have a place for everything you need to head out the door. When you come back home, place things there, especially those keys and you’ll save yourself some time and aggravation.

I know the research says it takes 28 days to change a habit but “my research” says it’s more like 56 days. Oh, and set things in your launch pad area each evening so that you are ready to go in the morning without any hassle.

Here’s a flash from the distant past that adds a bit of humor to the drama of not being able to find your keys. Credit goes to Paul Peterson.

The Mysterious Cabinet Over the Fridge

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It is spring at long last and it is time to open the windows to clear the air.  Laine is right; spring cleaning is not like it was in our Grandmother’s day, we don’t have the lifestyles or the time to spend a whole month doing a major overhaul of the house, besides, houses are bigger now.  Because of this I find that sometimes little corners get overlooked, I clean and organize the pantry cabinet a few times a year, but when was the last time I cleaned that hard to reach cabinet over the fridge?  You know those cabinets that are so hard to reach you put little used items in them, spare light bulbs, ice buckets, and whatnots that you use once or twice a year.

I have to confess that when I spring clean my kitchen I go through all my “working cabinets” first, so that by the time it comes to tackling that one over the fridge I have run out of steam, and it gets left as a rainy day project. 

Today is raining.  I sit here planning my day and that pesky cabinet is talking to me, just what is up there anyways?  The left side has the chocolate candy molds I use for different holidays, they could be sorted by themes and maybe I should actually move them to the cellar, I’ve cleared and organized some shelves down there. But then what would go in this cabinet? Besides, what is on the other side? I used to keep the big crock-pot up there, but it was reassigned to the cellar a few years ago to make room for extra ice cube trays. I went through a phase of making fancy ice cubes in different shapes, I am over that now. I’ve cleared the fancy ice cube trays out to make room for…..what is up there???  Why am I keeping it? And just what am I making room for? The only solution to this mystery is to haul my chair over, climb up, clear the junk off the top of my fridge and go through that cabinet. Hey…… maybe I can put the stuff that is on top of the fridge in the cabinet, just what is up there and why am I keeping it? Do you have a mystery cabinet?

Thanks to our special guest blogger Sue V.

CHADD Parent to Parent Family Training Class starts April 26th in Norwell. Email us for a registration form. Hurry as registration ends April 20th.

Spring into Action!

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Spring is officially here according to the calendar. Seeing the flowers start to peek out of the ground gives me the urge to finish up my winter projects so that I can get outside as soon as Mother Nature allows. One of my least favorite activities is “spring cleaning.”

As soon as the calendar said it was spring, I can remember my grandmother would start her spring cleaning. I don’t know how long she spent spring cleaning but she did things like washing walls, windows, and curtains, as well as, polishing the woodwork and furniture.

Spring cleaning dates back to the time when heating systems used coal and were not as efficient as today’s systems. The black soot that covered everything made it necessary to clean things each spring to get rid of it. I am sure that is when my grandmother started her little ritual. I happen to have a different idea of how to “spring clean.”

Now, if you’ve been following me for a while you know I often use the term “baby steps” because I believe that even baby steps in the right direction will still get you where you want to go. So in keeping with that theme, we are about to launch a month long action plan that will provide ideas for simple organizing projects that can be done in 20 minutes or less. Each week we’ll tackle a room together in short bursts. Check out my facebook page for extra tricks and tips during the week.

Organize your kitchenThe kitchen is often the busiest room in the house so we will start there. Take a look around. Is your kitchen a calm, organized gathering place, or is it a chaotic, cluttered mess? No matter what the state with a few helpful hints you can get it under control. Some common kitchen dilemmas are things either do not have a place or are not stored in a logical place. For example, do you have the things you use for cooking near the stove or do you need to walk across the kitchen to get them? Countertops are valuable “real estate” and should be occupied by things you use daily. Other less frequently used things such as the waffle iron, breadmaker or mixer should be stored in a cabinet or area away from the things used daily.  Dishes and glasses should be stored close to the dishwasher so that you can quickly unload them directly into the cabinets.

This week’s 20 minute action step is to clean out the refrigerator. Depending on the size of your family, clearing out the shelves in the refrigerator may take longer. Set a timer and work for the 20 minutes, if you choose to continue, fine. If not, no guilt. You did your 20 minutes. Check expiration dates and the state of condiments you don’t use very often. This is great to do the night before your trash day (just in case there is food that needs to go out). Wash down each shelf and then the sides and bottom of the refrigerator. Try to group things together when you put them back in. Make an area for the drinks, the condiments and the leftovers. If you are losing things in the back of the fridge there are plastic bins that will contain things and are easy to pull out.  Change the box of baking soda or whatever you use to keep it smelling fresh and you are done. There’s a short video on organizing your fridge at the Container Store. Check it out. Then join the conversation, what would you like to tackle this spring? Use the comment box below.

 

 

 

 

 

Spring is coming….are you ready?

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Spring AheadDaylight savings time begins this weekend. That means the days will start off a bit darker but the afternoons will be lighter longer. That always seems to help my energy level. I must run on solar power.

We actually can lose an hour of sleep this weekend if we stick to our regular routine bedtime. Most people set the clock ahead as they are getting into bed on Saturday only to discover it is now an hour later than their usual bedtime. My recommendation is to set your watch (not all the clocks in your house unless you want to drive someone crazy) a ½ hour ahead on Friday afternoon so that you get used to the difference in the level of light. Check it several times and eat dinner according to the new time. Then on Saturday afternoon turn it back the rest of the way. Go by the new time as your bed time and keep the alarm set the same. You’ll actually sleep an extra hour and wake up feeling better instead of worse. I know most weekends you might not stick to your regular bedtime but by staying up longer or even sleeping in you can throw your circadian rhythms off. The reason Mondays are often so hard is because the circadian rhythms have been thrown off by two or three hours. That’s like flying back from California making Monday mornings feel like jetlag.

Now what will you do with your new found energy? First, change the batteries in your smoke detectors and then in your carbon monoxide detectors as well. You do have a carbon monoxide detector don’t you? These two simple actions can save your life. Please go do that now. The rest of the day is for you to do something that recharges your own batteries. Whether that is a walk outdoors, taking time to read a book or the Sunday newspaper…..whatever it is that will help re-energize you. Now go do that. Happy Spring!

Goal Setting for Teens IV

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Follow the road to motivation
Follow the road to motivation

Now that you have separated your goals into actionable steps and put them in your calendar, it is time to add in some reinforcement to help you succeed (please see previous posts). We all know how hard it is to start a new habit and maintain it. Sheer willpower does not work! You have probably heard the saying that it takes 21 days to change a habit. Writing down your action steps are the first step but that does not guarantee that when the time comes you will do it.  I think that by leveraging your environment you can increase your consistency and create a new habit in less time.

By leveraging your environment you can reinforce the habit you want to establish. The physical aspect of leveraging the environment would be putting things in place that would serve as reminders for the action you want to take. Reminder cards on your bedroom door, signs in the bathroom, or moving furniture around to better support your new habit are all examples of ways to use the environment to help you. You can color code your calendar or create a vision board that shows you and your life with your new habits established.

You can also link a new habit to something you automatically do now. For instance if your morning routine of getting ready for school is the same each day then you could link your new habit to some part of that routine that is already automatic. For example if brushing your teeth is automatic, you could review flashcards for those two minutes. By hooking something new to something already established you increase your odds of doing it.

You can also use your family and friends to help you. By asking for them to call you at a specific time or meet you somewhere only if you have done your action helps you become accountable. Just that little added pressure of having to explain your action to someone makes you more likely to do it.  That is one reason why coaching is so effective with teens. If you’d rather keep track of your progress yourself, then I recommend using a simple chart you can check off or what Darren Hardy calls a rhythm tracker. This will allow you to see how you are doing. Sometimes we give up because we missed one or two times. A rhythm tracker gives you the bigger picture. Save them so you can compare and try to increase your consistency each week.

There is also the use of technology to help you stay on track for working on your goals. Using your smartphone for alarms and reminders from your calendar or devices such as a Time Timer (clock that shows the passage of time in a more visual way) or MotivAider (vibrates like a pager but goes off as frequently as you want) can supply the external reminders you may need to establish that new habit. I know that if you take the time to think about ways you can put reminders out there, you can come up with those that will work for you – and that’s what’s most important.

Don’t try to do it on willpower alone. Put at least two of these accommodations into effect and see the impact they have. I’d love to hear about it. Please use the comment box below.

Goal Setting for Teens III

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setgoals1Now that we have determined how to set a SMART goal(please see previous posts) it is time to take it to the next level and actually design a plan or strategy for achieving it. Take a look at your goal, if you have followed the steps in the previous two posts then your goal is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time specific.

Next, determine what needs to be done to attain that goal by breaking it down into actionable steps. I use a big blank piece of paper and just start writing all the things I feel are involved in that goal. As you are brainstorming this part you’ll notice that certain steps seem to go together, write them in the same area of the paper. You’ll end up with a “mind map” or “web” with key steps grouped together. Make sure to break each idea down until it is a specific step. Going back to our example of raising a grade to an 83%, we can see that a step such as, “studying more” is much too general. Break it down until you can get to the specifics involved (it helps to answer who, what, where, when, why and how questions). Is your goal still realistic and attainable given all these steps?

Now before we go further, take a look at what you have written down. Do you see any potential obstacles, roadblocks or challenges that could occur to stop you from achieving your goal? If you can foresee the obstacles before they occur you can design strategies to overcome them before they happen. Knowing your plan if “x” should occur will prevent you from giving up on your goal because one thing went wrong. I am assuming you have had this goal before but did not achieve it. Einstein is known for his definition of insanity as, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.  What will make it different this time?

You should take a short break at this point and let your brain process all this information. Often new ideas or strategies will come to you while you are doing something else that is less brain intensive. Come back and reread what you have written, is there anything to add?

The last step for today is to prioritize your steps and actually put them in your calendar. You do use a calendar don’t you? Mark out where and when you will do step a, b and c, etc. I would suggest you double the time you think it is going to take to do the step, until you get a better idea of the actual amount of time you will need for each step. Is it still realistic? What can you do RIGHT NOW to keep the momentum going? DO IT!

Next post will cover ways to leverage your environment and track your progress. Please feel free to post your questions or goals in the comment box below.