Does Your Child with ADHD Need Help with Homework?

Are you looking for ways to help your child or teen handle the daily struggle with homework? The struggle (theirs and yours) is real. It may look like a lack of motivation, or defiance, forgetfulness or even a learning disability but in reality, it is probably their Executive Function skills.

The Homework Help for ADHD covers seven Executive Function skills that have the biggest impact on homework and includes information on what to look for and plenty of strategies to help compensate.

Laine Dougherty - Notebook - Homework Help for ADHD - blue #1

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Due to the current circumstances and requirements for social distancing, our classes and individual services will be conducted via Zoom, Google Meet or Phone.

Coaching 101 – Are you Ready?

Ready to make a change? Are you tired of the same old situation that causes you stress or is there a challenge you would like to overcome or a dream you just can’t seem to get to? Coaching can help you become the person you know you can be by utilizing your strengths and minimizing your weaknesses.

If you are facing a challenge, then coaching is a way to help you envision the future you would have if you no longer faced this challenge. Coaching might discuss what has been getting in the way of making this change before, but also what would the impact be on you and your family if you overcame this challenge. Take a moment to just imagine what your life would feel like if you no longer faced this challenge. Imagine the possibilities!

Example of a coaching topic: Parent with a child with ADHD who wanted to learn to communicate in a more positive, loving manner and to decrease the negativity.

Coaching uses questions, not questions that require a “yes” or “no” response, but deeper level questions that we call “powerful questions.”  These powerful questions promote awareness, reflection, discovery and action.

You, the coachee, determine the agenda or topic for discussion and together we will uncover the puzzle pieces until the picture reveals itself. Together we may design “experiments” as possible strategies that you can try out and evaluate before moving forward – all while keeping your agenda in focus, with the understanding that you are naturally creative, resourceful and whole and have the answers within you – we just need to discover them. Creating experiments provides a safe, practice that focuses on the successes and provides more data for the next time, if it should fail.

Ex: Student looking to become more organized and reduce the frustration of not being able to find what they need, when they need it.

Coaching can offer accountability which can serve to motivate you to complete whatever you said you wanted to do. One thing is different here, there is no guilt if you do not complete your task. Instead, we would explore what happened and make adjustments as necessary for the next “experiment.

Ex: Parent deciding whether or not to go back to work after being home with her children.

Coaching is a process, not an event and as with any change, it takes time. Through this exploration you will discover your needs and values, your strengths and how to use them to minimize the challenges. This new learning will empower you to achieve your goals and dreams. Isn’t it time you found out what could be possible with coaching?

Add Power to Your Day – Set an Intention

sunrise over hilltopDo you start each day with an intention or do you let the day unfold as it will? An intention according to Oxford Dictionaries is, “a thing intended; an aim or plan.” Now that might sound a bit like a goal, but I see the goal as having an endpoint. An intention is more of a feeling, an awareness or a purpose rather than a specific result. With an intention set for the day, you may find that it guides how you go through your day. Remember we are talking feelings and not results.

For example, maybe you want to make a point of daily self-care, or intend to be more deliberate about taking in the experiences that only summer in New England can offer.  Or, maybe you want to be more present with your kids or, simply decide to find joy throughout your day. Whatever it is, it needs to be meaningful to you.

If that seems overwhelming (after all, the choices are unlimited) then take a tip from Joshua Becker – whose book, The Minimalist Home, I am currently reading. He uses one sentence each day:

“Today, I commit myself to ____________________.”

His blog goes on to give examples such as,

      • “Today, I commit myself to being the best mother I can be.
      • Today, I commit myself to healthy eating.
      • Today, I commit myself to this work goal.”

Of course, you can have intentions for more specific things too, like getting through the meeting, showing understanding with your kids, putting things away as you use them. It can be anything that speaks to you and your life. It is not a “to do”, it is more like an “approach” to your day. Sometimes we get so caught up in the to do’s that we lose our sense of who we want to be. Keeping an intention in mind, can keep you focused on the important aspect of your life (hint: it is not about doing more)

Now, you may find that by repeating the same intention for a week or a month, that certain things change. Simply focusing on an area, increases its presence. You’ve heard the statement that “energy flows where intention goes.” You may find that it may lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself or a change in behavior that will enhance your life.

My Intention: Today I set clear boundaries around my work and play time and respect what I accomplish. What’s your intention for today?

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“Don’t just drift through life. Live with intention and purpose.” Joshua Becker

7 Benefits of Coaching

change buttonWouldn’t it be nice if changing your life was as easy as hitting a button? Last month’s blog talked about things you could do to create a new habit or change something about your life. But sometimes it takes more than “willpower” or reminders on your phone, it takes help. Help can come from a friend, family member, coworker, coach, book, or internet. It depends on what you are looking for as to which type of help you might need.

If you are serious about making a change or developing a new goal for yourself or deciding to finally get organized, then a coach could be beneficial. There are all kinds of coaches and it can be difficult to figure out what kind of coach is best for you and for what you want to change. First you want to check that the coach has been through an approved program with actual coaching practice time. Then based on what you want to do, pick a coach that specializes in that field. It might be a health coach, business coach, life coach or organizer coach, etc. The list goes on but I want to focus on an Organizer Coach.

An Organizer Coach has experience in ADHD, organizing and coaching. This trifecta of knowledge combines together to help you better understand yourself, develop goals, implement strategies, manage responsibilities and empowers you to live the life you dream of.  As a COC (Certified Organizer Coach) I believe that you have all the answers inside you just waiting to get out. I believe you are creative and resourceful and if asked the right questions, can come to develop a goal, strategy or plan that nourishes your life.

Here are seven ways an Organizer Coach can help you change your dreams into reality:

  1. Help you pursue your goals and dreams by helping you determine the specifics and breaking them down into manageable steps.
  2. Can help you understand ADHD and how it is impacting your life – and the odds are it is impacting your life.
  3. Helps you figure out how to manage your time and yourself (ex. strategies to stop procrastination, set boundaries and plan your priorities).
  4. Holds you accountable for what you want to do (you determine the how, when and why you need to feel successful).
  5. Provides support and acts as a sounding board while you work through it. Sometimes, things are not as simple as they appear and coaching can help you dive deeper into understanding yourself and hold up a non-judgmental mirror to help you reframe your thinking.
  6. Develop personalized strategies and systems. If you have tried before and failed with systems or strategies it is important to figure out what “actually” happened and find another way that compensates for that.
  7. Empowers you to live the life you dream of. Getting some guidance can bring joy (with a little bit of work) into your life that you had previously only wished for.

Does reading this motivate you? Are you ready to make a change and improve your life? Then click here for more information about our group coaching class starting soon.

Make 2015 Your Year

Only a few days left in January…..if you made a New Year’s resolution or set a new goal, research says you may have given up by now. Has that happened to you? We all start off with good intentions but then somehow we slip back into our “old” ways. Without realizing it our habits take over and by the time we realize it, we’ve slipped.

What if you had a way to interrupt those ingrained habits? You see the problem with trying to do the same thing is that the same problems appear. If it is a new habit we are trying to create then motivation can be hard to find sometimes, or we don’t have what we need, or life interrupts and something else becomes more urgent (notice I didn’t say more important).  Has that ever happened to you? The result is a slow and steady draining of your energy whether you realize it or not.

Without understanding why that resolution or new goal is important to you, you are only seeing the fact that you didn’t do “x”. You are not seeing the big picture of how accomplishing that goal is going to make you feel, or what affect it will have on you and your family. You only see that you didn’t do it. In coaching we say that you are losing sight of the “big agenda” which simply put is who you are becoming. Why did you pick that resolution or goal? Who do you have to become to realize it?

No matter how big your “why” is, you can improve your odds of accomplishing something with a little help from your friends. Well, not really your friends as sometimes they have a tendency to “go easy” on you and let you off the hook if you whine enough about the crazy week you’ve had. You want a coach or accountability partner that will empathize but will also ask you to think deeper about what got in the way and then nonjudgmentally support you and guide you back to your big “why.”

Group coaching is a great way to get that kind of support and accountability. A small group of like-minded women working together to support each other can do amazing things. If you’re ready to make this “your year”, then join our group starting the end of February. Call or email me today as the group is limited to 6 and will be held in the Norwell/Hingham area. (781) 659-0513 or laine@laineslogic.com. Do it for yourself!

Goal Setting for Teens III

setgoals1Now that we have determined how to set a SMART goal(please see previous posts) it is time to take it to the next level and actually design a plan or strategy for achieving it. Take a look at your goal, if you have followed the steps in the previous two posts then your goal is specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time specific.

Next, determine what needs to be done to attain that goal by breaking it down into actionable steps. I use a big blank piece of paper and just start writing all the things I feel are involved in that goal. As you are brainstorming this part you’ll notice that certain steps seem to go together, write them in the same area of the paper. You’ll end up with a “mind map” or “web” with key steps grouped together. Make sure to break each idea down until it is a specific step. Going back to our example of raising a grade to an 83%, we can see that a step such as, “studying more” is much too general. Break it down until you can get to the specifics involved (it helps to answer who, what, where, when, why and how questions). Is your goal still realistic and attainable given all these steps?

Now before we go further, take a look at what you have written down. Do you see any potential obstacles, roadblocks or challenges that could occur to stop you from achieving your goal? If you can foresee the obstacles before they occur you can design strategies to overcome them before they happen. Knowing your plan if “x” should occur will prevent you from giving up on your goal because one thing went wrong. I am assuming you have had this goal before but did not achieve it. Einstein is known for his definition of insanity as, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.  What will make it different this time?

You should take a short break at this point and let your brain process all this information. Often new ideas or strategies will come to you while you are doing something else that is less brain intensive. Come back and reread what you have written, is there anything to add?

The last step for today is to prioritize your steps and actually put them in your calendar. You do use a calendar don’t you? Mark out where and when you will do step a, b and c, etc. I would suggest you double the time you think it is going to take to do the step, until you get a better idea of the actual amount of time you will need for each step. Is it still realistic? What can you do RIGHT NOW to keep the momentum going? DO IT!

Next post will cover ways to leverage your environment and track your progress. Please feel free to post your questions or goals in the comment box below.

Stop! No New Year's Resolutions in 2010

Happy New Year!

          Yes, I know that January is just about over and that any resolution you may have set for yourself is probably long forgotten. In fact, according to research by the Franklin Covey Company, 33% of people will give up on their resolutions by this time. By the end of March, 75% will have given up.  They must know me!

          This year though, being the start of a new decade (and me loving numbers like I do) I decided to do something different. Hubby and I set off for a few days to have some fun and do some “serious” planning for this year. We talked about the good, the bad and the ugly of 2009 and our hopes and dreams for 2010. We used Jack Canfield’s Success Principles book as a guide and used his seven categories to define the areas of our lives. They are: work/career, finances, recreation/free time, health and fitness, relationships, personal goals and contribution to society. We then came up with a (S.M.A.R.T.) goal for each and then listed some “to do’s” under each. When projects like redo the dining room and clean out the basement started showing up on the personal list we decided to add an eighth category called physical environment. That took my “organizing projects” and hubby’s fix it projects off the personal list and into its own category (whew!).

          The whole thing was a bit overwhelming so we decided we would think ahead only one quarter – just January, February and March. We took a yearlong calendar and added in the Big Rocks (commitments, vacation, holidays, etc.) first so we could see what time was actually left. (Don’t tell anyone but I have a SLIGHT tendency to overbook myself J.) Then we went month by month for the first three even getting down to the nitty gritty tasks we want to do and making sure they were balanced with non “work” type activities.

          This was such a learning experience for us and we are already moving ahead because we are both on the same page. I’ll be sharing more in future blogs. Stay tuned by using the RSS feed button on the right sidebar and be automatically notified of new blog posts.

Thanks for reading!