time management

Embracing Change – Are You Ready?

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Transitions, a time for changeI have a love/hate relationship with August, how about you? On the one hand it signifies the ending of the summer (hate) and the transition to cooler weather (which I am welcoming after the hot, hazy, and humid, summer we have had in the northeast – love) but also that transition back to “normal”. Normal as in back to school for the kids and back to your more typical routine and schedule if your schedule has been different during the summer. Do you embrace change or try to run from it?

Transitions

These transitions, are a normal part of life, and can elicit both excitement and/or fear and anything in between. Excitement, even though it is for something good, (new home, job, baby) can often bring up fears from the past. The most common fears are the fear of the unknown, the fear of repeating past failures, or self-doubt in your abilities, all of which can increase your stress level.

Through coaching, many of my clients have been able to focus on the things they can control, rather than the fears that they really have no control over. They can begin to embrace change with a more positive outlook, and see it as an opportunity for growth and learning. This increased belief in themselves also builds their resilience and develops their agency.

How to Navigate a Transition

Let’s focus on the things you do have control over. This goes for your children as well. Many of them may experience the same fears as mentioned based on last years’ school experience. Moving to a new school can also bring out the fear of the unknown and some self-doubt about their abilities. These fears, whether realistic or not, should still be accepted rather than dismissed. Together you can explore them more thoroughly to see if they are based in reality or not. Using yourself as an example can help your children see that questioning our abilities is natural, but that by being proactive we can build those skills needed to feel more in control.

Navigating Transitions

    • Set clear goals – what do you want from this change? How can you turn it into a positive rather than focusing on the negative? Now figure out what you need to do, have or be to get that? Break it down into small manageable steps so that you can see the path to get there.
    • Prepare ahead – if this transition involves a change in schedule, start now to practice. Does your bedtime need to change? Start setting an alarm to get up at the time you will need to. (This is also good to get kids in the habit of getting up – on their own).
    • Organize your environment – can you find what you need, when you need it (quickly)? Is your home easy to navigate or do you need to clear the table off before you can eat there? Are you using up energy moving things, or searching for things? Take some time before the transition to help “future you” feel more in control. How about your child’s study space: where is it and is it organized and distraction free?
    • Create routines – routines provide structure to your day and help to take some of the strain off of your brain as they become automatic. We all learned how important structure is during the pandemic when it all went away. Routines save brain bandwidth and decision-making power to be used for more important things in your day. Creating morning, evening and homework routines for the whole family, sets clear expectations and helps your children develop agency and independence.
    • Manage Time/Self – We can’t really “manage” time but we can become more aware of it and how we use it or waste it. Do you often feel like you have too much to do and not enough time to do it? Take a look and see what is getting in the way. Are you forgetting things because they were not written down or you lost the sticky it was on? Then maybe it is time to create a new system that will work for you. Planners, phones, index cards, notebooks, mind maps, or bullet journals, it doesn’t matter as long as you will use it. We can no longer keep our to do list in our heads (even though it should only have 3-5 tasks on it). One distraction can erase it from our working memory. You need something that works for today, but also something that holds your tasks, thoughts and ideas that are not for today. Ways to manage your tasks can be batching similar tasks together, using a Pomodoro technique approach, delegating or delaying. Lastly, managing your distractions, keeping an eye on an analog clock, and focusing on one priority at a time can help you get more of the important things done.
    • Cultivate Resources – Making sure you have resources for support and help as well as, resources that help you relax and reduce stress. What are the activities that recharge you? How can you use these resources for this new transition? Who can help you when you are feeling overwhelmed, are stuck or don’t understand something? Create a list for these as in the moment, it can be difficult to come up with something that will help.
    • Celebrate – We often focus on the negative, like those things we didn’t get done, rather than taking time to celebrate the wins, no matter how small. Take time and rejoice in your achievements and how you handled the transition and it may just increase your motivation and confidence for what’s next.

These seven steps can help make any transition easier because they help “future you” be less stressed and feel more in control. Help your children with these steps as they get ready for a new start this fall. You can make this your family’s best year yet!

Time Management vs. Choice Management

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How to choose?

Time management, what does that mean to you? For me, it is my ability to manage the available time I have to get what needs to be done, done. Notice, I said it is MY ability to manage – myself really and manage my choices. We really can’t “manage” time as we have no control over it. It keeps going on its own whether we want it to or not. However, the choices we make of how to use our time can have a huge impact on our productivity, as well as, on how we feel about ourselves and our lives. So, what is choice management?

Choice management is taking time to look at all the options/tasks/choices you have and actually choosing your priorities given the time you have. There are lots of things that “should” be done, but are they really the important stuff or just the easy stuff? Estimate how long you think things will take before you decide if it’s a realistic task to take on.

Choose the top three priorities to begin with and set clear boundaries around the time you will work on them. Don’t wait for the deadlines to get closer as although deadlines help provide a sense of urgency, they often bring extra stress if you miscalculate the time needed to complete it.

Five Ways to Save Time

  • Use the Pomodoro method
  • Time blocking
  • Task batching
  • Create systems and routines to “keep up”
  • Organize and declutter the extras out of your life

It comes down to having to make choices because the reality is you probably can’t do it all. So rather than getting stressed, why not choose wisely and ask yourself…”is this important enough for me to use “x” hours of my day to do? Then figure out which method above, works best for you. Watch out for things that can eat up your time, like distractions, multitasking and not having a plan.

The Pomodoro Method

The Pomodoro method breaks your work time into four, 25-minute blocks of time with a 5-minute break in between each block. The short time frame tricks the brain into thinking the task is more urgent since the clock is ticking. It helps to know that you only have to work on that one “challenging or boring” task for 25 minutes and then you can take a break.

The one thing I have found to help increase it’s effectiveness is to have other people know what I am working on in that block. This body doubling technique also adds accountability to the tasks and helps to keep me on track. If you’d like to give it a try, feel free to join us for Work It Wednesday from 10am-12pm ET via zoom. (Email me for link). At the end, you are encouraged to celebrate your accomplishments and appreciate your productivity (and take a longer break).

Create Systems and Routines

We all want to work “smarter” because that makes things easier on us. Creating systems and routines is a great way to do that. Time blocking and task batching are examples of systems you can use, if they work for you. However, time management is not just about work tasks; you probably also have “home” tasks some of which occur daily.

Setting up systems and/or routines for those things can save you time and stress. For example, if there is no routine of cleaning up the kitchen after dinner (or at least before going to bed) then the morning becomes more of a hassle as you dodge last night’s dirty dishes and cluttered counters trying to get everyone out the door on time. Not to mention the extra time it takes to get dried food off.

Routines work well for weekly tasks too. Pick a day for specific things, like meal planning, grocery shopping, and laundry. Why wait until you have no clothes and there are 6 loads to do when you can keep up by doing laundry once or twice during the week. Much easier to put clothes away if it is manageable.

Organize and Declutter

Lastly, but most importantly, take the time to organize and declutter. Out of all the things you can do, this may save you the most time and frustration. We’ve all wasted time searching for things, things that either didn’t get put back in their “home” or they didn’t have a home to begin with. Your home should work for you not against you.

Create organization so that you know where the things you use daily and weekly belong. Don’t organize so you can stack more stuff into a space. Let the space determine how much can go in there and reduce your inventory. The bigger the load of laundry the longer it takes to get it to its final destination. If your clothes don’t fit in the closet or dresser once they are all clean, then (I’ll be direct) maybe you have too many clothes. Think of how much time you are using/forfeiting to laundry.

Things you use often, should be easy to get to. Why should the big lobster pot take up an entire cabinet when you only use it once or twice a year? It shouldn’t. Make life simpler by clearing counters of appliances and knick knacks you don’t use weekly. You might think it only takes a minute to move things out of the way so you can work, but those minutes add up. You are choosing to use them clearing space when you could be using them for yourself and your family.

Think about the choices you make each day. Yes, it would be wonderful to be able to do all the things we want and need to do but, there are so many options and opportunities that it is impossible to do it all. So, “choose wisely, grasshopper” as a famous TV Kung Fu master once said. Or maybe you’re inspired by Yoda’s line, “do or do not. There is no try.”  Whatever “method” you use for saving time is just one piece of the puzzle, it is the choices you make all day, every day that provides the frame work. Choose what matters to you.

Five Super Strategies to Knockout Stress

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Good habitsThis September, especially after last year, may be a bit more difficult to manage because we are all out of practice. Sure, some students continued to go to school and maybe you had to continue to go to work. For many, last year was a combination of situations with a few extra pivots thrown in just to keep us on our toes.

Last month we talked about your systems and took a look at them to see what was working and what was not working. If you missed it, you can check it out here. Dealing with a system that doesn’t work adds extra stress and the transition back to the “real” world will be stressful enough. Let’s take a look at 5 simple things you can do to keep those stress levels down as we transition back to reality.

Five Super Skills

  1. Make time visual – ever notice how time seems to slip away and all of a sudden you are hurrying and wondering how did it get away from me? Keeping analog clocks in certain areas (especially the bathroom) will make you more aware of the passing of time. Make sure your children have a clock in their room as well. It’s never too early to start becoming aware of time.
  2. Routines and habits allow the brain to operate on automatic pilot. Automatic pilot frees up brain energy for more important tasks. Creating a morning and evening routine (and a homework routine, if you have kids) will make your life easier and less stressful. If you plan it right, it can also help you get out the door faster and less stressed.
  3. Keep it simple – the number of steps it takes to do anything should be the least number of steps it takes. If your routine or your habit has very detailed steps then it is probably more work than it is worth. This is often why kids do not put their clothes away in the dresser drawers as it is too many steps – same for the closet. Hooks, shelves and bins work better.
  4. Organization – probably the most important habit to reduce stress and frustration. Making sure everything has a place and that everyone knows where that place is makes it so much easier to find what you are looking for. Ever have to search for the scissors or your car keys?
  5. A weekly reset – will give you a chance to take care of last weeks to dos and challenges and to start fresh for the next week. Simple things like looking at the calendar and seeing what is coming up. Maintaining your systems (maintenance keeps you organized) by putting things back in their places. Preparing for the week ahead helps you stay on track. How would that feel on Monday morning?

If you struggle with any of these super skills and would like some help – let me know. Coaching can help you design the systems that will work for you.

Three Keys to Being More Productive – From Our Archives

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What does productivity mean to you? Yes, it is about getting things done, but more importantly it is about getting the right things done at the right time.  It is also about making decisions. I am sure you know the feeling of being busy all day long only to wonder at the end of the day what you actually did.  Being busy is not necessarily being productive.  Today’s reality is that we are constantly being bombarded by stimulus (ex. cellphones, internet, social media, news, blog posts, emails, texts, electronic billboards, pop up ads, etc.) we have to be vigilante that all that stimulus doesn’t distract us from the important things. It’s a bit like that dog in the movie UP that yells “squirrel” and runs off after another distraction.

According to two online dictionary definitions, Productivity is “the quality state or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance or bring forth goods and services.” Or it means you “do a lot.” Both of those sound like being a robot; preprogrammed to action without thinking about whether or not what we are doing is important. How do you avoid that?

  1. First step is to set clear boundaries. That word has been overused somewhat but if you think of yourself with a fence around you and only one gate to get in that you control you will get a better idea of what I mean. All this outside stimulus just finds its way to our attention which takes our focus off of the important things or even just the things we want to do. With you in control you get to open the gate and let in only that which is important to you at the time. Or you can be standing in the middle of an open field with no fence and have all that “stuff” assault you from every direction. Which would you prefer?

Ways to set boundaries:

  • Handle or prevent those interruptions that you can control and find a way to limit or cut short those that have you at the mercy of someone else.
  • Turn off your alerts and decide when you will be available.
  • Check email three or four times a day, not constantly
  • Decide if “x” is worth your time, energy or effort before you say yes. Sure, you may want to do it all but at what price?
  • Make/take time for yourself
  1. Taking care of yourself is the next key. I understand you want to do all and be all but you can be of no help if you become ill or feel resentment. Self-care means making the time to exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, socialize and do the things that lower your stress level. Being organized makes your life easier too, why do things the hard way when you don’t have to?

Self-Care keys:

  • Create morning and evening routines that serve you that include a specific bedtime and wake up time.
  • Filter out the extraneous stuff. Let go of commitments you are no longer interested in or are of a lower priority.
  • Set aside some time for yourself. (Sometimes that means locking the bathroom door – do whatever it takes).
  • Organize so that you have efficient systems to handle the everyday stuff. Your home needs to serve you, not make your life more difficult. Make sure you can find what you need quickly and return it to that place when you’re done.
  • Choose wisely grasshopper, as you are trading away time that can never be regained.
  1. Planning and Prioritizing will keep the important things on the top of the list. Having a plan will keep you on track. By creating your list the night before you have time to think about how important those tasks are to you. Without a plan your day can go in any direction but often it is not the direction you want it to go in. Priorities should be based on your goals and dreams as you work towards creating the life of those dreams.

Ways to Plan and Prioritize:

  • It’s okay to not be able to do it all – some things should never be done, and some can easily be put off as long as you are the one that decides. Delegate what you can.
  • Prioritize tasks in a way that honors who you are.
  • Schedule in even the tiniest tasks. If you color code your calendar you can see where the majority of your energy and time is going.
  • Estimate how long you think a task will take and then time yourself. Don’t forget to include commuting time, prep time and clean up time.
  • Be realistic in the amount you can accomplish in one day. Start small and build your momentum by getting the higher priorities or the more distasteful (but important) ones done early.

Keeping these keys in mind will help you live the life you dream of. Good luck.

Coffee and Routines

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Routines keep us goingRoutines, we all have them. Some are helpful and some are not. Routines that are based on good habits are sets of things we do every day that have a positive effect. You probably have a morning routine that gets you and your family out the door in the morning, and an evening routine that ends the day. Do they serve you? By that I mean do they make things run smoothly, keeping you relaxed or do they add chaos, disorganization or a sense of hurriedness to your life?

I think the holiday season is one time where the impact of disrupting the routines of the day can show its effect. Behaviors erupt, patience is thin, and chaos reigns. If there is any ADHD in the family, then those routines/habits are even more important. For those with ADHD, a routine may not always be the same from day to day. In fact, for most people/children with ADHD every day is a new day and often a new “routine”. However, it definitely helps if those with ADHD can create a routine of good habits so that they are on automatic pilot rather than having to take the time to figure out what they should do next. It is the thinking “now what do I have to do?” that causes the mind to go blank or to act on whatever is in front of them.

According to pediatricians at www.healthychildren.org, ““Every family needs routines. They help to organize life and keep it from becoming too chaotic. Children do best when routines are regular, predictable, and consistent.” We’ve all seen this. A sudden change of plans can send our day into a tailspin or worse, change our normally happy youngster’s personality into something we don’t recognize (tantrums optional). Routines for kids provide a sense of predictability and that makes them feel safe. It does the same for adults although I would change the feeling of safety to a sense of control.

Routines teach responsibility, organization, and cooperation and positively reduce your stress level, save you time and energy and bring a sense of control to your daily life. It is that simple. Routines are beneficial in the morning, after school or when returning home for the day, dinner time, and bedtime. It’s not just about the “basics” of a routine as there is often room to add something to your routine that you feel has been missing. For example: it is not just about remembering to brush your teeth at night, but also about ending your day on a positive note. Are you watching TV until bed and then tossing and turning or do you read something positive after having set yourself up for a stress free morning?(Clothes out, lunches packed or planned, keys on hook, phone charging, etc.)

Take a look at your routines and those of your family and see if they are beneficial or not. If things are not working, figure out why and try something new. Keep at it until it works. If things are working well, then you might want to consider adding something to an already established routine. Research shows that linking a new behavior to something that is already “routine” makes it easier for it to become a habit. I have added writing in a journal to my morning routine that also includes listing three things I am grateful for. It starts my day with gratitude and a positive attitude. What will you add to your routine?

Tomorrow I'll Do It

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Tame your time
Tame your time

The word procrastinate is defined by Webster as, “to put off doing something usually out of habitual carelessness or laziness or to postpone or delay needlessly.” I am not so sure I agree with that definition. Sometimes we have to procrastinate because there simply is not enough time in the day to do it all. If the task is really important it will get done but only when its priority is increased. For example, a student who needs to study for a test, will eventually sit down and study or will have to accept the consequences of a low grade. For the ADHD brain, the pressure of a task that HAS TO get done is often enough of an adrenaline rush to push you to get it done. Sometimes though, you may have to trick yourself by setting false deadlines as if they were real.

First step in eliminating procrastination is deciding what is in it for you and what will happen if you don’t do it? This should help you determine if you are really committed to it. Then determine what is preventing you from completing it. Is it a fear of failure or lack of information? Or are you afraid you cannot do a “perfect” job so you don’t start?

Next, decide to get started. Break the task into manageable pieces or set a time limit and work until the time is up. You may realize it isn’t as difficult as you thought and you can keep going.  Cheryl Richardson starts her day asking herself, “What action do I most want to avoid doing today?” Then she begins with that and notes that things quickly change for the better after that. Remember to reduce distractions before you begin working and reward yourself when you complete the task. Overcoming the procrastination habit leads to healthy feeling of being in control of your life. Want to feel competent and capable? Then do it today!

It's About TIME

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time-timerIt is almost time for getting back to school. If last year was a struggle, it was probably about that four letter word…T I M E.

Does your child have the same perception/understanding about time that you do? If you feel that you are often encouraging them to “hurry up” or if they sometimes miss the bus or stay up late completing a project then you might want to try this experiment. Gather the family and a stop watch. Ask the children to close their eyes and not open them until they feel a minute of time has passed. Each individual will guess differently. Now have them time you. Is their sense of a minute longer or shorter than yours? Are you thinking it has been a minute when it has only been 30 seconds? Sometimes children haven’t developed that internal sense of the passing of time. Sometimes adults are in such a state of “rush” that they lose that sense of time. Using analog clocks and visual timers like a time timer can help develop that internal sense.

Next thing to figure out is how much time is available and what is it being used for? I suggest having your child keep track of his time on a time log. It is a great way to see where the time is going. Is there enough time for homework or are after school activities cutting that short? Sometimes, kids are doing the best they can but they are so exhausted from other activities, that homework only gets the minimum amount of effort. Other times they are just wasting the time or are multitasking between homework and Face Book.

So, is there enough time for the homework? Check the planner. If the student is using it, they should begin to estimate the amount of time each subject will take them. Add up those estimates and decide if there REALLY is enough time.

There are two drawbacks to a paper planner. Assignments are usually written in on the day they are given and not on the day they are due. So, if a project or test is due a week away, there is no reminder once the planner page has been turned. Secondly, a planner doesn’t provide the big picture view of what is due. Many students are using the calendar feature on their iPod touch or Google calendar to keep track of assignments and also to set reminders. Electronic reminders don’t forget and… kids don’t see them as “nagging” either.

Printing out the calendar view or writing all assignments on a monthly calendar helps to give the big picture view of what is coming up. Be sure to write in all activities and appointments so that students know exactly how much time they have to get homework done. The big picture also helps them see how many days they will need to work on a long term project.  It allows them to add in small blocks of studying over several days to prep for a test. This has been shown to be more effective than cramming the night before. Using these strategies will help your child begin to understand that time can’t be stretched and if they want to have free time to themselves, they need to use the time they have efficiently.

If you’d like to stop “reminding” your child about homework every day and begin to build independence then check out our daily email program called end homework hassle. Each day a new strategy or skill is sent to your child through email. You get a weekly update of the content so you can support them as they go.

Family Calendars

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How do I keep track of my kid’s schedule and my own? Having one main calendar for the entire family to use to post appointments, practices, project due dates, and special events helps avoid overbooking and/or missed appointments. Let each family member use a different color marker or post it note on the calendar. Place the calendar in an obvious place so that it is frequently seen. I recommend the refrigerator. Yes, it’s nice to have all those pictures on there, but not if you are missing appointments and forgetting things.

Pick one day a week to review and plan the upcoming week with the family. Sundays work well for many busy families. If you use an electronic or paper planner also, then be sure to input the new information so that you are up to date. For students, make sure they enter their information directly into their school agenda. Ordinarily I suggest one calendar, but if multiple people are involved then there needs to be something that is constantly visible to all. Click on the calendar link above to see various sizes of planet safe planners that are wet, dry and sticky note compatible. Or simply print out a month or a week at a time calendar from Microsoft Word or Publisher. For those that prefer an electronic version, try a shared Google calendar provided everyone has easy access to it.

Happy New Year 2011!

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I wish each reader a happy, healthy and prosperous new year where all your dreams come true! I love the start of a new year (new month and new weeks work for me too). I feel like it’s a chance to start over with a fresh, clean slate and wide open, empty calendar spaces.

Part of my “getting ready” process is to go through the past year’s planner and transfer any important dates like birthdays, anniversaries, deaths, milestones, etc. into the new planner. While I am going through each month I also see what was actually planned and what was accomplished. Most years my plans are overly ambitious as Super Woman couldn’t complete my lists even if she never slept.

This year though, I want to stay more positive and so I’m not berating myself about what didn’t get done – I am celebrating what did. Jack Canfield’s recent blog mentioned a Wins List. He listed a number of questions to get the reader thinking about specific kinds of “wins” they had throughout the year. I started doing that and noticed that not all “wins” were simple. Some were the results of derailments or serendipitous experiences that weren’t planned for. Had I stuck to my (often) rigid plan I would have missed these surprises and the delight they brought to my life.

For example, the 5pm phone call that led to dinner out with friends at 5:30pm and a lead to an administrative assistant who is now working with me. Or the rescheduled haircut appointment that coincided with a long lost college friend’s appointment, giving us time to catch up.

Life is unpredictable and the tighter we try to control it, the more it seems to throw at us. Loosen up and enjoy the ride….that’s what I’m aiming for this year. What will you do differently this year? Let me know by adding a comment in the box below. Thanks for reading.

Homework Help for Parents

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Is your child spending hours doing homework and then struggling to get up the next morning? With the first quarter coming to an end you will be able to see what grades all that studying has produced. Is the time spent reflected in the grades? If not, here are ten tips to help

1. Have your student start their homework within 30 minutes of arriving home from school.  Waiting until after dinner only makes the brain work harder since the body is working to digest dinner.

2. Have them take time to have a snack of protein and complex carbohydrates (the brain needs energy too) before getting started or to nibble on while they work.  

3. Doing something active for about 15 minutes even if it is just walking around the neighborhood or shooting a few hoops will help send blood and oxygen to the brain.

4. Set a timer for 45 minutes and have them get to work on the toughest subject first. If you feel your child does not have an accurate sense of time you might want to use a kitchen timer or time timer that shows the passage of time.

5. Make sure all the supplies they need are within arm’s reach of their study space.

6. Limit the distractions. Keep the TV off and the noise level low so that they will not be distracted by what others are doing. If your child is an auditory learner, having music playing in the background can be helpful. There are classical compilations designed to enhance concentration.

7. Help your child estimate how much time they think it will take to complete all homework accurately and completely and then add 30 minutes. The general rule is 10 minutes for each grade level. For example, a sixth grader should have about an hour of homework. Suggest they plan what they will do for fun or relaxation when their homework is done.

8. After working for 45 minutes or so, students should take a 10-15 minute break. It should be long enough for them to get recharged but not long enough for them to start something else.

9. Don’t over book your child! Kids need “downtime” too. Take a look at their schedule and make sure they have time for homework,  friends and family.

10. Use a central calendar that is updated each weekend for the upcoming week and have students write down their commitments in their agenda books. Family meetings help insure that everyone knows what is coming up for the week.

 

Next: Learning styles and how they can help save time.