Organizing Life

Keep Calm and Celebrate: 5 Stress Busting Strategies to Use Now

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Stress BusterIt’s official, we are in the holiday season. With Thanksgiving falling at the very end of November, it seems everyone is getting into the holiday spirit a lot earlier this year. How about you? Do you feel your stress level increasing at this time of the year as you try to juggle multiple responsibilities? Here is some help to ease the stress.

Here are my 5 Stress Busters:

              1. Declutter – not your typical way
              2. Prioritize health
              3. Create a realistic plan
              4. Stress free zone
              5. Reduce and unplug

Stress Buster #1:Declutter Important Spaces

If you are entertaining (or would like to) this holiday season but feel a bit overwhelmed by the clutter around you, then I am sorry to tell you that now is NOT the time to declutter or organize. Sorry to tell you that, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make things easier on yourself quickly and painlessly so that you CAN do the hosting you want.

There are three areas of your home that you probably use for guests. The living room/family room/great room where the entertaining happens, the kitchen where you do all the preparing and the bathroom, are the three key areas to declutter.

Step 1: Get a trash bag and a recycle bin and go as quickly as possible around those three rooms in a clockwise manner and toss, or recycle whatever you can. (Estimate:<30 mins)

Step 2: Find as many bins and boxes as you can and head to the bathroom with one or two. Put away anything that belongs there and load what doesn’t belong or doesn’t have a place, into your bins or boxes. Is the counter clear? How about the floor? Wet towels go in the laundry bin not the decluttering bins😊 (Estimate: <15 minutes)

Continue this process in the entertaining room. Start to the left of the doorway and work your way around the room in a clockwise manner loading whatever doesn’t belong or does not have a “home” into the bins. You could also make bins for each family member to take care of their own things rather than storing them. We all know our family and friends are probably not judging us, but when our homes are overwhelming us, it is harder to focus on others through our own embarrassment. When you feel good about your space, and it works, you can relax and enjoy. (Estimate: <60 minutes)

Lastly, it’s time to tackle the kitchen. This is probably the most difficult space to clear out but also the one with the biggest impact. Imagine working in your kitchen with clear counters and finding the tools you need quickly and effortlessly. What would that feel like (first name?) Now remove anything that you won’t need for entertaining into a bin. Start from the sink and move clockwise, touching things only once to put into a bin or return to its home. For kitchen items you might want to categorize what goes into each bin, just in case you need something in a hurry. (Ex. Extra pans, knick knacks, appliances like instant pot or extra storage containers, etc.) (Estimate: <90 minutes)

Step 3: Remove all the bins to some other space where your guests won’t see them but where you can access them if necessary. Take a look around, how does that feel?

Step 4: Now it should be easier to quickly clean these spaces. (For your family’s health, please use products that are environmentally friendly and people friendly. Chemicals and fragrances can be harmful to your health.)

Stress Buster #2:Take Care of Yourself

Holidays are no fun, if you get sick. Yet, that’s when we tend to squeeze more things into an already overpacked schedule. Eating and sleeping tend to get less attention the busier we are, but have the greatest impact on our energy and health. With some advance planning you can have quick and healthy options ready. Make a list of your favorites and the time it takes to get them ready. Looking at a list to pick from is so much easier than trying to think of what you can make when it is already late and you’re starving. Better yet, make a meal plan for the week.

Stick to a bedtime, seven days a week. What time will that be? That is up to you, but it needs to be consistent or your body will call you on it. Getting some sunlight in the morning or afternoon can help reset your circadian rhythms making it easier to fall asleep. Reading for as little as 7 minutes is also supposed to help. Some people find listening to audible books or the calm app is helpful. Making sure to avoid screens (TV included) for 60-90 minutes before bed helps melatonin do its job. Aim for at least 7-8 hours so you can wake up refreshed.

Stress Buster #3: Your Plan

Create a REALISTIC plan. I know your cape comes out at this time of year and you become a superhero but, as your coach, I have to ask you, “what is it costing you?” When you are running on adrenaline and cortisol, it takes a toll on your reserves. You know those things that when they run out, you end up exhausted, cranky and sometimes sick.

A realistic plan starts with knowing what you “have to” and “want to” do in the next few weeks. Maybe brain dump (cranial cleanse all those thoughts) out onto paper. Get the family’s input and put rough estimates on the time each task takes next to them. Add them up. Humanly possible? Probably not. What can go? What’s really important and where can you schedule it in? Make sure your calendar is already up to date with school scheduled events, family parties and appointments. Now try to fit in 3-5 similar tasks a day, several days this week. Keep weekends open for fun and Sunday prep for the week time if possible. Any events in the future you need tickets or reservations for, book them now. Sometimes the future seems so far off and then suddenly….it’s here.

Stress Buster #4: Stress Free Chill Zone

Create a stress-free zone. Any area where you can go to relax and/or spend some time doing something you love without thinking about all the other stuff you still have to do. You need some downtime to recharge and clear out the brain RAM so you are ready for whatever comes next. Try to take a 30-60-minute break for yourself each day, (I know it seems impossible) but the benefits are incredible! Unplug, be creative or just take a catnap – whatever helps to recharge your batteries give it a try and see what happens.

Stress Buster #5:Limit the Negative

This is probably the toughest, yet, most effective stress buster if you want to relax and unwind at home – reduce your exposure to social media and the news. It is hard to escape the constant attention grabbing, sensationalism, that the news has become. From verywellmind.com…

“…constant exposure to negative information can impact our brain,” says Annie Miller, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW. Consuming the news can activate the sympathetic nervous system, which causes your body to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.” Even if the news is just background noise it was shown to have a negative impact.

Reduce your exposure and you will reduce anxiety, worry and fear that often comes with the news. The article goes on to suggest doing something to “energize and enrich” your life rather than watching what makes you feel worse. Maybe head to your stress-free zone or have a family game night, do a puzzle, watch Hallmark, hang some decorations – whatever you see as positive. I hope it will also help you sleep better. Your brain continues to process whatever you have done or seen in the last 30 minutes once you are in bed. No wonder we can’t sleep!

This is the time to protect yourself and your family from the stress of the outside world. Your home is your sanctuary and it should be filled with love and calmness that nurtures and recharges you and your family.

ADHD Hacks: Empower Yourself with Strategies, Not Labels

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Aware and EmpowerOctober is ADHD Awareness/Empowerment Month. Each year the media, and the three national ADHD organizations, provide information on the latest scientific research to publicize and educate. The myths and misinformation continue to interfere with individuals seeking or getting help but, these three organizations are trying to help CHADD.org, ADDA and ACO.

Does it matter if you have been “officially” diagnosed? I don’t think so, unless you feel medication may help. Always talk to your doctor, of course, but medication doesn’t teach strategies and structure. Those are things you can try on your own. You can “experiment” with different ideas and then evaluate their success or failure. Pretend you are a scientist, and just collect the data – what worked and what didn’t and then build from there. No guilt, just learning.

What is ADHD?

ADHD is a neurobiological condition – meaning it is the result of lower levels of neurotransmitter chemicals that are important in the brain, which results in lower levels of stimulus in the brain. Non-technical definition: it is a chemical imbalance and not a personality/behavior or motivation problem. Just like near sightedness or hearing loss, it cannot be “fixed” at this point in time, but it can be helped.

Many people with ADHD are often very intelligent, but they may have difficulty showing it at times. That’s often a combination of the lower level of brain chemicals and difficulty with their executive function skills. Dr. Thomas Brown believes there are “6 clusters of executive function skills: activation, focus, effort, emotion, memory and action.” These executive function skills work together to help us get things done. (FYI they are not fully developed until around age 25 and yet we use them every day.) Inside these “clusters” are things like organization, planning/prioritization, working memory, self-regulation, focus and time management. Ever struggle with any of these?

Start Here

One of the most important, yet often most difficult things to do, is to consistently get a good night’s sleep. You know you feel better when you are well rested and are often more capable of handling frustration, stress and overwhelm without the added guilt of cookies, ice cream and/or junk food.

Meditation, relaxation exercises, and taking breaks can help manage those impulsive emotions before they break through. Remember, ADHD is a chemical imbalance, it is not “who you are”. Be gentle with yourself and keep those ANTS away. (ANTS=Automatic Negative Thoughts)

What do you need to do to create a nighttime routine that will help you get a good night’s sleep (most nights)? We’re not looking for perfection, just a routine that can become a habit. Include some screen free time, cozy pajamas and whatever else helps your body get ready for sleep. Reading in bed has been shown to be helpful for getting to sleep depending on what you are reading, of course. Give it a try, just don’t give up.

Organize for Ease of Operation

Are you a problem solver or a tolerator? (If that’s even a word). Think about the morning, when you are trying to get ready for your day, or get kids off to school. Is it calm and stress free or hectic and frustrating?

What is getting in the way and preventing you from a smooth start? (Hint: systems, routines and habits, oh my)

Are there:

    • Dishes in the sink from the night or days before?
    • Cluttered counters so there is no place to make breakfast or lunches?
    • Full dishwasher?
    • Crowded closet, yet nothing to wear?
    • Missing keys, pocketbook or left shoe?
    • Kids that need 98% of your attention to get ready?

Whatever it is, you can figure it out. You’re a problem solver and you can put systems and routines in place and get the family involved. Or you can continue to tolerate it and pretend the stress isn’t affecting you and impacting your relationships and your health. (But it probably is.)

Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

Declutter – things are just things. But they suck up time and energy both physical and mental every time you have to move them or work around them. They add frustration to your day when they are hiding your keys from view. If they don’t bring value or sentiment to your home then, they are just stealing precious moments of your life.

Clutter impacts your family whether you realize it or not. Visual clutter can easily overwhelm a brain with ADHD, increasing everyone’s stress level. Or maybe clutter is interfering with your motivation to prepare family dinners so you opt for quick microwaveable and possibly less healthy options.

Good nutrition is important for all brains throughout the day. According to Children’s Health, “good nutrition not only helps bodies grow strong – it can also help kids focus and even improve their behavior.…. While the right foods are important, it is just as important to help your child eat at consistent mealtimes throughout the day and to avoid hunger.” Craven, the author, goes on to say “That children need three meals every day and one to three snacks as well so, they should be eating about every three hours.”

Decluttering can save you time, money, energy and brain bandwidth. Clutter, most importantly, takes time away from the things that really matter. What can you do today to reduce the clutter in your home and life? Start today, even 10 minutes done consistently can make a huge impact.

Battery Recharge

Having ADHD can make it difficult to remember tasks at the right time and place, and it often distorts our sense of time—speeding it up unexpectedly, which can leave us feeling rushed or running late. When time is short, self-care is often the first thing to go. If your “batteries” are running low, the first thing to do, is to stop pushing yourself. Take a few minutes to do something that will help you recharge.

When you take care of yourself first, you are better able to take care of others. If you have kids that have ADHD, then these are three very important words to remember: consistency, predictability and simplicity. Dr. Jacque mentioned them as foundational for reducing anxiety and helping kids with ADHD thrive with fewer disruptive behaviors.

Managing the things you can, can help lower your stress level and give your ADHD superpowers a chance to shine. You’ve got this!

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Summer Balance – What Does That Mean For You?

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juggler mom trying to balanceWe’ve all heard the term “work/life balance” and its implied connotation that it is possible to achieve a 50/50 balance between work and our other responsibilities to ourselves and our families. I believe that we each have to find our own sense of “balance” and the summer is the perfect time to change things up. What do you think?

Time Management

Time is the one resource that we cannot make more of so, we need to find ways to be more efficient. I am not talking about multi-tasking! When we truly multi-task we are actually flipping from one thing to another and it is about as effective as losing 20 IQ points.

However, here are a few things to think about:

  • Do you start each day with a prioritized plan?
  • Do you create time blocks to do similar tasks together?
  • Are you clear about your work and personal boundaries?
  • Can you take advantage of flexible hours, such as earlier or later start times or working longer to have a ½ or full day off, or working from home?
  • Do you have morning and evening routines that work for you with very little thought?

Recharging Your Batteries

When we make more time available, it is important that we know what we want to do with it. It can be as simple as taking time for a walk after dinner, or reading a book under a tree or more of a project like planning and taking a family vacation. Recharging activities just seem to be easier in the summer. Of course, this year we have had some extreme heat, so remember to stay hydrated and don’t overdo.

Think about:

  • Planning a weekend away or a vacation (and taking it)
  • Adding some exercise into your day by getting outside
  • Take advantage of farmer’s markets and fresh produce for healthy eating
  • Disconnect from technology now and then (Tech free Tuesdays, maybe?)
  • Spend more time with family and friends – picnics, bbqs, and get togethers
  • Take up a new hobby, or make time for an old one
  • Read
  • Garden
  • Start a meditation practice
  • Go to the beach

Whatever it is that helps you feel like you have taken advantage of the summer weather and feel more rested and energized, that’s what you need to do more of.

Thinking Ahead

Summer is also the time to check in on your goals, hopes and dreams for 2024 since we are halfway through the year. How are you doing (first name)? Is it time to revise or update those goals? What’s working in your life and what is not? We’ve been talking about balance, so what is it that would make your life feel more balanced? Don’t limit your thinking to just the summer because the transition to fall comes with the start of school and the winter holidays are not far behind. Sorry, don’t want to stress you out, but want to help you think more into the future. Picture your life as you would like it to be and then think about the steps that can get you there. What is one step you can do this week that will move you towards that “future you?”

Do you….

  • Need to adjust or make new goals for the second half of the year?
  • Want to take an online course or workshop to develop a skill?
  • Want to be more organized? What is the first step you can take?
  • Enjoy coming home? Is your home a sanctuary where you feel relaxed?
  • Take time for yourself each day?
  • Say “no?”
  • Get outside every day?

Just 15 minutes outdoors can have a relaxing effect on your stress level and blood pressure and recharges your brain with dopamine and endorphins. So, you’ll have more energy and be happier. What is your biggest take away from this newsletter? Let me know on my FB page.

How to Organize Any Space in 4 Easy Steps

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organizeSummer is coming – that’s the good news! We want to enjoy the summer but with graduations, weddings and bbqs happening every weekend, things can get ahead of us because we don’t have the time but we also don’t want to use what little time we do have on decluttering, so things can pile up- that’s the bad news.

You know that pile of mail (oh that’s right you handled that in last month’s newsletter) maybe it’s the family room or the kitchen that is frustrating you. If your very busy, overscheduled life is causing you to tolerate clutter then it is likely that you are losing valuable time dealing with its effects. The following four steps can be done separately or in tiny pieces depending on the time you have available. It’s easy to crack the C.O.D.E. to an organized life.

Each letter in the word CODE stands for a step in the process.

The “C” is for Collect.

Collect what needs to be organized or de-cluttered into one space. If it’s video games, cooking utensils, magazines, or laundry it doesn’t matter, just pick one and collect it all. You can get the whole family involved by having each person pick a “thing” and collect it in a laundry basket or plastic bin.

The “O” is for Organize.

Now organize the collection into sub categories by putting like items together. In the case of video games it might be by gaming platform, or separate kid’s games from teen games, or like and don’t like. With kitchen utensils it might be those you use often and those specialty items or the ones you use by the stove and those you use at the counter. As you do this with your category, you will notice what can be recycled or trashed, repurposed or removed to a different room. What is left is the important stuff – those things you love, use and/or need in your life.

Now “D” is for Decide.

This is often the hardest step of all. Asking yourself questions like, “What do I do with this?” or “Where is the best place for this?” can be difficult. Having the important things close by and the not so important (but still necessary) things away from the every day items will give you more space for the things you use daily. Some things may already have a place but began to overflow into the surrounding area. Now that you have collected those items you can sort, toss or pare down to suit your needs.

Wherever you decide to put things be sure to “contain” them. Things have a tendency to expand to fill all available space and by containing them you can curtail that. Draw dividers, kitchen organizers, bins, baskets, empty jars, storage bags, use whatever fits your need, will contain that category, and keep it from spreading. Now decide where each category is going and deal with them.

Last in the four step process is “E” for Evaluate.

After a week or so of using your new organization check the surrounding area to see if it is “contained” and evaluate if it is working for you. If not, then try something else. Keep trying until you find what works for you and your family. In order to maintain your organized home, be sure to evaluate each drawer, cabinet, closet or shelf periodically and use the C.O.D.E. to get it back under control. This is the key to staying organized – maintenance. It’ll also give you more time for summer fun. Enjoy!

Basic Week Routine to the Rescue!

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Routines save timeThere are two kinds of people – those that love routines and those that don’t. Which are you?

If you don’t love routines, it may be because you feel they are too restrictive, too boring or just too hard. After all, who wants to do something 66 times before it becomes automatic?

However, if you know the value of routines, then you probably appreciate the automaticity of it – following through without any real effort or brain power. Routines can keep your life on track when everything around you is falling apart. Instead of constantly trying to juggle all that is on your plate, a routine can add structure to your day and save you time, effort and money.

Routines

The most common routines are the morning, or get out of the house routine, and an evening, get ready for bed routine. There are all kinds of routines and frequencies for doing them. I encourage the students I work with to create a homework routine. They think of all the steps they should take before, during and after homework and then combine them into a routine that works for them. It may include what to do when they get home such as having a snack, taking an activity break, a body check, checking the agenda and deciding what’s important – all before even getting started. Students save themselves time by addressing all the usual distractions like hunger, thirst, feeling tired, and the “I don’t know where to start”, dilemma.

Create A Basic Week Plan

You can do the same thing by creating a routine for the things you do during your week. I call it a “basic week plan”, because it tells me when to do the basic things each week. Start with a list of the things you spend time doing throughout a typical week for yourself and your family; things like laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying, etc. If you’ve ever had to run to the grocery store for something you need for dinner that is already late, or had to pay a late fee, or missed the return window on an item that you don’t want, you know it can disrupt your day and steal valuable time you could use for yourself.

Now that you have your list, decide which day of the week would fit with your regular schedule rather than having “urgency” dictate the use of your time.

Match the task to a day:

Task                                                             Day

Laundry                                                            Monday

Groceries/Meal Planning                              Tuesday

Cleaning                                                           Wednesday

Errands                                                             Thursday

Mail/Paperwork                                              Friday

Organizing/Planning/Household Maintenance

Once you decide on the day of the week, try it out. See what it feels like to get the big stuff done during the week and have your weekend for fun and relaxation.

With fewer random or spontaneous tasks and errands taking up what little free time you have in your life, you may find the benefits of a basic week plan far outweigh the rigidity you think of in a routine. And wouldn’t it be nice to reduce the stress and the hurry in your day and to also have some time for yourself?

Recap:

  • Routines add structure to your day
  • Routines take less brain power and prevent decision fatigue
  • Routines, like a basic week plan, save you time and effort by minimizing extra errands and last-minute trips
  • Routines save money
  • Routines keep life moving even through the bumpy times

What do you need a routine for?

Use Your ADHD Super Powers and Get More Done!

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ADHD Super PowersJanuary 1st is meant to encourage thoughts of possibilities but it can also be a reminder of the previous year’s disappointments. For 2024, let’s make a deal, there’s enough negativity in the world, let’s focus on the positive this year. Are you in?

It’s time to embrace our neurodiversity and use our strengths to get things done. Every January there are numerous resolution strategies offered to make this your “best year ever”. Strategies such as having a word, theme, or intention for the year are plentiful. Setting SMART goals and breaking them down into small action steps may work for some, but the statistics say differently. Many people give up within two weeks of the new year. Here’s a clip from npr.org for reasons why.

This year though, let’s try to make small improvements using our ADHD Super Powers such as: being creative and thinking outside the box, being a problem solver, having high energy and being able to pivot when necessary. Also, let’s not forget the ability to hyperfocus.

If the goal is to “get the right things done,” then let’s see how the ADHD Super Powers can help.

Super Power: You are creative:

Your ideas are innovative, often more involved than they need to be, but still creative and you often come up with non-traditional solutions that can solve problems. Watch for places where a creative solution could save you time and energy and fix it when you can. For example:

    • If you have been procrastinating on a task, add some creativity to it, gamify it, break it down into teeny, tiny doable steps to easily cross off or work on it with a friend.
    • Make it a game with the family to race around and put things away so you start each day fresh
    • Dislike using a traditional planner, then create your own system by making it work for you and the way you think.

Super Power: You have high energy:

Your energy level is often directly related to your level of motivation and of course the basics like sleep and self-care. If you find yourself with lots of energy to spare:

    • Knocking off several mini tasks will keep the dopamine level up and that makes everything easier.
    • Be sure to have a list to look at filled with those mini tasks so you don’t have to try and think of them in the moment.
    • Keep track of all you do accomplish – it’s much better to focus on what did get done rather than what didn’t.

Super Power: You can pivot quickly and change course or task:

If something more urgent comes up you are able to change gears and quickly dive into it. You are often multi-tasking and that means you are only using 50% of your brain (because you are actually switching from one task to the other and back) but you can assess what is needed and get on it. If you do have to pivot:

    • Be sure to leave yourself a note of where to pick up on the current project, before you jump to the urgent one.
    • You are able to find ways to make things easier and are open to unexpected solutions
    • Life happens – when the unexpected happens, being able to easily pivot can provide other options and solutions minimizing the disruptions.

Super Power: You can Hyperfocus:

Hyperfocus is the ability to sustain attention and focus on the task at hand until it is complete. This often entails either high interest on your part, a looming deadline, or urgency from someone else. It does use up a lot of brain power so be careful how often you use it.

    • You have the ability to deep dive into a project or area of interest so set a timer or reminder notification before beginning so you don’t miss something else.
    • Use hyperfocus to develop the skills needed for a new hobby or a side hustle.
    • The increase in focus can lead to more creative solutions and an increase in attention to details that may not happen with frequent interruptions. Let others around you know that you don’t want to be interrupted.

A change in perspective is needed if you feel that your ADHD is the reason you “can’t” get things done, are always late or forget things. Use your ADHD superpowers to come up with creative strategies and solutions for those challenges and add some fun into each day. What do you want to remember 2024 for? What do you need to do to make that a reality? Use your super powers:-)

Are You on Santa’s Stressed List?

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Santa's Stessed ListStress. It’s a word we hear every day and I am sure it means different things to each of us (including our kids). The World Health Organization defines stress as, “a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. It is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats to our lives.”  Back in the “early” days, stress was meant to protect us from the dangers out in the world and keep us safe. These days it feels more like a byproduct of our everyday lives. Even the general pace of our society can sometimes (no, probably often at this time of year) feel like it is going too fast for us to process and is one stressful event after another.

Just to be clear, I am talking about the stress we bring on ourselves – the temporary type* that can often be mitigated if we had the ability for “do-overs.” Think about the last time you stopped and realized you were feeling overly stressed. What happened just before that?

Common Stressors:

      • Did you say, “yes” to one or ten more things you knew you didn’t have time for?
      • Or did you forget something important and then had to scramble to make it right?
      • Did you lose something important?
      • Were you late for an appointment?
      • Did you stay up later than you knew you should?

All of these, and many more can increase your stress level. Imagine if you could rewind time and try again. Would you be able to identify what got in the way and caused your stress and then be able to prevent it (or at least reduce its impact)? What would that feel like?

Now figure out what you can do to get that feeling.

What ideas did you come up with? I know you are in the mad, almost the holidays rush but, maybe you can make some notes for next year.  Trust me, your “future self” will thank you if you leave some hints and actions to take to manage your stress level.

Here are some ideas to think about:

      • Get more sleep (dark rooms, lowering lights in the evening and using lamps not overheads)
      • Exercise
      • Build a self-care toolbox of things that help recharge you and schedule time in for you
      • Create routines that work for you and the family
      • Limit changes to plans at the last minute – it is okay to say “no”
      • Feeling prepared helps melt stress so make a realistic plan and then work it
      • Smart tech use – sure the dopamine hit feels good at the time but then that time is gone
      • No negative self-talk – your brain believes what it hears
      • Declutter the things you no longer need and that only interfere with you being able to find what you need quickly
      • Lastly, organize your spaces. Where is the logical spot for that? Where would a hook work for your keys? What would make your life easier and save you time? Add that to your to do list.

When you understand you have options, you can take action. Even baby steps in the right direction, will still get you there.

Four Productivity Hacks for an ADHD Brain

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ADHD signsOctober is National ADHD Awareness Month and so in tribute, let’s bring some awareness to how ADHD can interfere in your life and what you can do about it. First of all, ADHD or its side effects, has nothing to do with intelligence. It has a neurobiological (read chemical) basis related to the neurotransmitter hormone levels in your brain. Those chemicals are responsible for transmitting messages from one side of the brain to the other. Sometimes they complete their mission and sometimes you forget part or all of that previous thought.

ADHD is often related to weaknesses in Executive Function skills. Those are the processes that are the last to fully develop and are in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain. It’s interesting that those EFs (task initiation, inhibit, monitor, planning/organization, working memory, organization of materials, cognitive and behavioral shift and task completion) are necessary for completing most projects (and homework too).

It’s easy to see how difficulty planning can cause us to work harder and longer than we really need to simply because our plan is not the most efficient or cohesive. When that happens, we also may have difficulty getting started, and then watch out when our emotions take over. Can we notice how things are going or do we just jump up and go do something else? When a simple shift in our method, environment or state of mind or body may be all that is needed to stay focused.

An ADHD brain often finds it difficult to persist through boring, complex or difficult tasks as it prefers creative, interesting and fun projects – who doesn’t? When faced with this dilemma, it will seek out stimulation that it prefers and that’s where distractibility comes in. The brain is searching for something to make it “happy” and so it distracts us. Once distracted, since we weren’t monitoring the situation, it is challenging to regain control (inhibit our response) and all that we were holding in our working memory may be forgotten. Thus, adding more time to a task we didn’t want to do in the first place. Making it impossible to complete the task.

So, often it is the brain that is interfering in our ability to complete tasks and not our intelligence, age or state of overwhelm (although that has its own issues). Knowing that, we can be on the lookout for signs and use strategies and routines to mitigate its impact.

Brain and Body Check

First, we want to be sure our brain has everything it needs to be happy. The brain is continually sensing and responding to variations from the norm so it needs to have certain things like food, water, sleep, and safety to begin with. I would also add that stress can impact the brain as well. The higher the stress the less the brain can think and it sets off the fear alarms. Do what you can to be sure the brain and body have what they need and anticipate any needs that may come up while you are working.

Find What Helps Your ADHD Brain Focus

Check around you. Is your environment filled with distractions? Are there any changes you can make to reduce the irritating distractions and include some more helpful ones? Remove the clutter, face away from the window, turn off the TV, add some music, maybe add a few photos that make you smile or a small plant for some fresh oxygen. Read a previous post called Hack Your Workspace for more helpful tips.

Make A Plan

I confess, I am a paper planner (with digital backup) enthusiast. It doesn’t matter if you prefer a notebook, planner, digital calendar, master task list or a spreadsheet but you need to find a way to hold onto the tasks, appointments and ideas that are important to you. If you ask your brain to hold that info, it can hold 5-7 things until something distracts it and your working memory deletes it all. I am sure your task list is longer than 7 items. (The master task list that is….not the plan for today.) Whether you like to plan your day the night before or just start fresh in the morning – here are three questions to ask yourself.

  1. What are my 3 priorities for today?
  2. How much time do I have to spend on each?
  3. Where can I schedule the time to work on each into my day? (Taking into account my energy levels and other commitments in the day)

Work the Plan

Now that you took the time to make the plan, respect it. Don’t ignore the timeframes, if you scheduled a task for a specific time, do it then. Do not wait until you “feel” like it – because that rarely (if ever) happens. In fact, if you are easily distracted, you may want to set an alarm for 15 minutes. Then check in with yourself that you are still focused on the task.

Each task should be a single step and you may have several for each project. If you think about what the end needs to look like, you can easily work backwards to get the individual tasks that need to happen. Each project has a beginning, middle and ending, all the way to the clean up of any materials you used and other completion tasks.

Adults may be able to maintain focus for about 90 minutes, but if that is not you then be sure to break your “on task” time into manageable blocks and take breaks in between. The Pomodoro method uses 25-minute work blocks and a 5-minute break in between. After 4-Pomodoros, a longer break is encouraged. You can see how it works by joining our Work it Wednesday Focus group Wednesdays at 10am ET.

Whenever you stop working for the day, take the time to “close out the day.” That means leave a note of where to pick up tomorrow. Figure out your priorities for tomorrow and any responsibilities you may have at specific times. Check off what you completed. Savor the moment. That’s right, too often we don’t take time to appreciate and congratulate ourselves on what we did accomplish. A “done list” really helps us see our successes and can be motivating too. Clear off your workspace and set it up for tomorrow.

Work with your brain and your energy levels by frequently checking in with yourself. Take time to reward yourself and recharge your batteries. There will always be more to do, just make sure it is worthy of your time and effort.

Hack Your Workspace – Up Your Game

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neat workspaceDoes your workspace help you focus and get things done or does it just add more challenge to your task? Since we can’t add more time to our day, we have to find ways to be more effective and/or productive with the time we do have. Wouldn’t you agree? We can start with making sure our workspace (whether it is a counter, desk or small table) works for us and our needs.

Impact of Clutter

Did you know that clutter on your desk can affect your stress level? If your desk is covered in papers and other clutter, it makes it difficult to stay focused on the task at hand, because your attention will keep shifting to the visual clutter. That shift can then interfere with your working memory – you forget what you were doing or that brilliant idea you had, because you were distracted and your working memory lost its focus. Or worse, that pile of unknowns makes you think you have forgotten something important but you can’t stop and look now because you are already feeling behind. That would definitely increase my stress level.

Hack Your Space

  • Clear the clutter – anything you don’t need to do the job
  • Contain the papers in a basket or bin and move them out of your line of sight (don’t hide them especially if you are a piler)
  • Make sure you have good lighting without casting shadows on your work
  • Does the chair fit you and is it comfortable? (Feet reach the floor?)
  • Is there an analog clock in sight or maybe you prefer a time timer?
  • Add something that makes you smile – a picture, photo, plant or your favorite fidget

Brain Hacks

  • Pick one task – think of it as having a beginning, middle and ending. If you typically stop working before the task is completed or you leave all the supporting documents out after it is completed then you are not working until the end. The end means nothing is left to do or take care of for that task or project.
  • Start a master task list by categories. This is where you keep track of the things you don’t want to forget to do, but it is not your to-do list! (I’ll get to that in a minute) Categories such as work, at home, at computer, away from home, etc.
  • Create a close out the day routine. Each day before you leave your workspace, wrap up what you are doing and if you need to continue it tomorrow, make a note of the next step. Take a look at your master list and decide the top 3 priorities for tomorrow, keeping in mind the beginning, middle and end of each task. Put away what you can and set yourself up for a fast start in the morning.
  • Check your calendar and your master list – your to-do list should have 3-5 tasks that you want to complete for the next day. Sure, you can do more, but only if you get those things you think are important done first. It’s called a REASONABLE LIST.
  • A weekly reset is an opportunity to clear the clutter, file or recycle those papers, sharpen your pencils, put paper in the printer and blow the dust off your keyboard. Maybe even reboot your computer if it has been a while. Whatever it takes to prevent you from taking last week’s problems into next week. You want to start the week off knowing your priorities, your appointments, your kid’s schedules and having your week planned out and your desk cleaned up and ready for action.

These strategies can help your children handle their homework more effectively too. Make sure their study space works for them and is not distracting them. For middle schoolers that are using their computers more, you may want to find a way to add another screen for them to avoid having to switch back and forth – saves on working memory and time. Help them use their agendas to keep their extra-curricular activity schedules, appointments and special events as well as, their homework in there each week. That way they can better plan when to study for those upcoming tests and there will be fewer surprises.

The biggest changes may come from just knowing what to do first when you sit down at your workspace. It doesn’t matter if you are going to work, working from home or just working on home “work”, using your time wisely, reducing distractions and having a plan, will save you time, improve your focus, save working memory space, improve decision making and reduce your stress according to Jim Kwik. Even if you try just one hack, I think you will be surprised at its benefits.

 

Embracing Change – Are You Ready?

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Transitions, a time for changeI have a love/hate relationship with August, how about you? On the one hand it signifies the ending of the summer (hate) and the transition to cooler weather (which I am welcoming after the hot, hazy, and humid, summer we have had in the northeast – love) but also that transition back to “normal”. Normal as in back to school for the kids and back to your more typical routine and schedule if your schedule has been different during the summer. Do you embrace change or try to run from it?

Transitions

These transitions, are a normal part of life, and can elicit both excitement and/or fear and anything in between. Excitement, even though it is for something good, (new home, job, baby) can often bring up fears from the past. The most common fears are the fear of the unknown, the fear of repeating past failures, or self-doubt in your abilities, all of which can increase your stress level.

Through coaching, many of my clients have been able to focus on the things they can control, rather than the fears that they really have no control over. They can begin to embrace change with a more positive outlook, and see it as an opportunity for growth and learning. This increased belief in themselves also builds their resilience and develops their agency.

How to Navigate a Transition

Let’s focus on the things you do have control over. This goes for your children as well. Many of them may experience the same fears as mentioned based on last years’ school experience. Moving to a new school can also bring out the fear of the unknown and some self-doubt about their abilities. These fears, whether realistic or not, should still be accepted rather than dismissed. Together you can explore them more thoroughly to see if they are based in reality or not. Using yourself as an example can help your children see that questioning our abilities is natural, but that by being proactive we can build those skills needed to feel more in control.

Navigating Transitions

    • Set clear goals – what do you want from this change? How can you turn it into a positive rather than focusing on the negative? Now figure out what you need to do, have or be to get that? Break it down into small manageable steps so that you can see the path to get there.
    • Prepare ahead – if this transition involves a change in schedule, start now to practice. Does your bedtime need to change? Start setting an alarm to get up at the time you will need to. (This is also good to get kids in the habit of getting up – on their own).
    • Organize your environment – can you find what you need, when you need it (quickly)? Is your home easy to navigate or do you need to clear the table off before you can eat there? Are you using up energy moving things, or searching for things? Take some time before the transition to help “future you” feel more in control. How about your child’s study space: where is it and is it organized and distraction free?
    • Create routines – routines provide structure to your day and help to take some of the strain off of your brain as they become automatic. We all learned how important structure is during the pandemic when it all went away. Routines save brain bandwidth and decision-making power to be used for more important things in your day. Creating morning, evening and homework routines for the whole family, sets clear expectations and helps your children develop agency and independence.
    • Manage Time/Self – We can’t really “manage” time but we can become more aware of it and how we use it or waste it. Do you often feel like you have too much to do and not enough time to do it? Take a look and see what is getting in the way. Are you forgetting things because they were not written down or you lost the sticky it was on? Then maybe it is time to create a new system that will work for you. Planners, phones, index cards, notebooks, mind maps, or bullet journals, it doesn’t matter as long as you will use it. We can no longer keep our to do list in our heads (even though it should only have 3-5 tasks on it). One distraction can erase it from our working memory. You need something that works for today, but also something that holds your tasks, thoughts and ideas that are not for today. Ways to manage your tasks can be batching similar tasks together, using a Pomodoro technique approach, delegating or delaying. Lastly, managing your distractions, keeping an eye on an analog clock, and focusing on one priority at a time can help you get more of the important things done.
    • Cultivate Resources – Making sure you have resources for support and help as well as, resources that help you relax and reduce stress. What are the activities that recharge you? How can you use these resources for this new transition? Who can help you when you are feeling overwhelmed, are stuck or don’t understand something? Create a list for these as in the moment, it can be difficult to come up with something that will help.
    • Celebrate – We often focus on the negative, like those things we didn’t get done, rather than taking time to celebrate the wins, no matter how small. Take time and rejoice in your achievements and how you handled the transition and it may just increase your motivation and confidence for what’s next.

These seven steps can help make any transition easier because they help “future you” be less stressed and feel more in control. Help your children with these steps as they get ready for a new start this fall. You can make this your family’s best year yet!