Laine

Effort or Grades – Which Means More?

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080814-brainEvery day scientists are learning more and more about the brain. Research is proving that the brain can continue to grow new synapses (connections) no matter the age providing that it continues to learn “new” skills. Do you believe that your brain can grow or were you born with a certain amount of intelligence and that’s all there is?

I’m reading the book, Mindset, by Carol Dweck, Ph.D. Dweck believes that it is more important what you and/or your child believe about the brain and not what they believe about a grade or an IQ score. (Click here to watch a YouTube video of Dr. Dweck) Dweck’s premise is that there are two kinds of mindsets; fixed and growth. “Believing your qualities are carved in stone – the fixed mindset – creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. “  So you strive for the good grades in order to feel good about yourself. Then when you do poorly on something, you feel like a failure. Your motivation dwindles because in this mindset, nothing you can do can improve your grade. You’re stuck in a fixed mindset.

On the other hand, “The growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts….everyone can change and grow through application and experience.” Same failed test causes the student with this mindset to study harder and to work at it until they get it. They are motivated to improve and believe there is no limit to what they can do with enough effort.

So, as parents, do you praise your child for their grades or for their effort? One (grades) will lead to a fixed mindset whereas; praising their effort will encourage them to continue to strive for excellence. Dweck says, “The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” What do you think? Let me know in the comment box below.

Lessons from a Fish

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nemo-fishAt last, the blizzard of 2013 is over! I hope you made it safely through and are now getting back to “normal.” The sun is out and the snow is melting. I know we are not through with the worst of the winter yet, but at least we continue to get closer to Spring every day. We lost power for about 50 hours which was long enough to bring the house temperature down lower than 40 degrees (we left at that point) even with a fire in the fireplace. I didn’t want to leave but felt defeated by Mother Nature. Shouldn’t I be able to handle this? I’m usually the optimist always looking for the bright side….but I felt cheated out of my “snow day” by a power outage.

It took a fish now named, “Super Dude” to snap me out of it. Out of a tank full of more than 50 fish of different sizes, only one survived. The newly named “Super Dude” was not the biggest or the smallest of the fish but he must have been the smartest as he clearly found a place to hide that kept him warm enough to survive. When the tank was finally uncovered he began to swim happily above the destruction below.

Here’s what I learned from Super Dude:

  • Think creatively rather than doing what everyone else is doing
  • It might not be easy, but do it anyways….the payoff will be worth it
  • Take care of yourself first (so you can better take care of others)
  • Stay focused!
  • Look for the brighter side…. Lost food = cleaned out frig and freezer
  • Be grateful!

What did you learn from the storm? Let me know in the comments below.

Motivation Holds the Key – For Students

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motivation

Motivation is that hidden power that gets you to do something that you might not have otherwise wanted to do. It has been defined as an “incentive, drive or desire to do.” It is the inspiration that pushes you to score that goal, or ace that test. It can help you keep at something when you would prefer to quit.

Now I know that it can be difficult to motivate yourself when it comes to school stuff. I get that. But without understanding the “why” behind what you are doing, you may never find that extra motivation to get you through the tough times.

They say there are two types of motivation, extrinsic and intrinsic. Some people are motivated by external or extrinsic rewards – things that can be bought or received (games, toys, $). Others are motivated by internal or intrinsic rewards. Intrinsic motivation is like the special feeling an “A” brings, or that feeling of pride in yourself when you make the honor roll. I think there are two other types of motivation – pain and pleasure. For those that are motivated by pain, they work harder to avoid the “pain” (getting grounded or losing the computer). Those motivated by pleasure are motivated to get things done in order to be rewarded like extra time with friends, or staying up later. So, once you know which motivates you, you can create options for increasing your own motivation.

Today I’d like you to think about what motivates you. What gives you that extra energy or incentive to push harder when you really don’t want to? Is it extrinsic, intrinsic, pain or pleasure motivated? Why are you working hard to get good grades and what helps push you to work your best? Share with your parents and get them on your team. You are half way through the school year… knowing this and using it, can help you through the rest of the year.

What is your key to motivating yourself? Finding your “why” and making it important. That will help you push through when the homework or the studying gets tough because you have a reason that is important to you. You have found what motivates you.

Motivation holds the key!

The Best Laid Plans

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tuesdayEver set your day up perfectly, only to have a phone call or something simple send it spinning out of control? Me too! When I first started getting organized (yes, it’s true I wasn’t born this way), I set up a basic week schedule. It was a simple chart that had the days of the week on it and what “kind of” a day it was. For example, I had Wednesday as my domestic day, Tuesday for groceries and Friday for bills. If something interrupted my plan, I was thrown off my game – not just for the day but for the rest of the week. So, if it snowed on Tuesday and I couldn’t get to or didn’t want to get to the grocery store, I would try to make it through until the next Tuesday – which usually didn’t work.

What I discovered instead, is that each day I needed to look at what my plan was and check to see if it would still work. The fact that I had specific things to do on specific days saved me from having to stop at the store on the way home from work, or drop off the tax bill instead of mailing it on a Friday. But if something came up, I figured out the next best plan. Sure, sometimes the laundry (domestic day) didn’t get done until the weekend but it was not the overflowing basket that reminded me to it, it was my plan. This often saved my family from some strange combinations for dinner (whatever was still in the freezer).

What I discovered instead, is that each day I needed to look at what my plan was and check to see if it would still work. The fact that I had specific things to do on specific days saved me from having to stop at the store on the way home from work, or drop off the tax bill instead of mailing it on a Friday. But if something came up, I figured out the next best plan. Sure, sometimes the laundry (domestic day) didn’t get done until the weekend but it was not the overflowing basket that reminded me to it, it was my plan. This often saved my family from wearing dirty clothes and some strange dinner combinations (whatever was still in the freezer).

What I realized is that the best laid plans are the tentatively laid ones. Change them if you have to but at least start with a plan. You might want to think about having a grocery day, paperwork day, errand day, laundry day etc. How’s your plan working today? Tell me on Face Book.

Seven Super Study Tips for Midterms

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girl-taking-test

What makes a midterm so different from a test or quiz? It is the amount of information of course. A high school midterm covers about five months of content whereas; a college midterm may only cover two months. In both cases, a midterm is heavily weighted and can have a big impact on your term grade – positively or negatively.  But don’t panic, here are seven tips to help you work your way through the review and you can find more help on our Facebook page.

1. Get your confidence up by reviewing the most recent information first. If you have any tests, quizzes or other assignments that you can use, it is important to review them too.

2. Chunk down the information into manageable pieces and create an outline or a mind map (web) with key concepts. The brain remembers color, shapes, placement, words and numbers in that order so anytime you can use those things to add to your mind map or notes you are helping your brain remember. Review by covering up a section and repeating. For you auditory learners, you can use a digital recorder or create an mp3 of your notes and play it back.

3. Study in one hour blocks and take a 10-15 minute break to allow your brain to process the new information.

4. Studying is not about rereading…interact somehow with the information. Ask yourself questions, group facts together, draw a timeline, etc.

5. Don’t cram, it doesn’t work. Space out your studying over the week and do a short review of the topics covered the day before and then continue on.

6. Keep good health habits of eating, sleeping and drinking plenty of water (the brain loves it) and also get some exercise – it stirs up the dopamine in your brain which helps it to think.

7. Lastly, relax and breathe. If you get stressed your body sends out cortisol, the stress hormone, and that can interfere with your ability to think clearly. Stay calm….and you WILL get through it. Good luck.

If you found these tips helpful and would like to learn other study skills and homework strategies, then check out our daily email program to end homework hassle.

January 2013 a Fresh New Start!

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procrastination-fortune-cookie-500x300The month of January is symbolic of new beginnings with its clean, unscarred calendar pages. The word January dates back to Roman   mythology. The god Janus was believed to be “the god of gates, doors, doorways, beginnings and endings,” according to Wikipedia, an online encyclopedia. How appropriate then, as we open to the new calendar page, that we are filled with expectation as we walk through the doorway leading to a happier, healthier and more organized new year.

January is the perfect month to tie up loose ends. Just like the leftovers that pull at us to eat them, the unfinished, loose ends pull at us and drain our energy. Cheryl Richardson, author of Take Time for Your Life, believes that each unfinished, incomplete or unresolved “to do” is connected to our life energy by invisible cords. The more cords, that is, the more “leftovers,” the less life energy we have for the present. Do you have a phone call you have been putting off, a relationship to mend or end, piles of unread magazines or errands to do? Each of these tasks, whether you consciously think about them or not, continues to drain your energy. Once you systematically start cleaning up and taking care of these “drains” you will feel your energy increase. Start with a blank planner page and list the “to do’s” you have been avoiding. Think about those things that pop into your head when you are trying to get to sleep or that are on scraps of paper covering your desk and write them down. Are there any that you could take care of today, tomorrow or this week? Write the task on the dated planner page and be sure to cross it off once it is completed. As you make progress tying up loose ends you will feel your energy being restored as you juggle less and less of 2012 and gain energy for 2013.

“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” A.A. Milne

Would your student benefit from organizing help for their academics? Then check out our End Homework Hassle email program that sends daily “lessons” to teach them the skills they need to succeed. January’s Special Pricing is $50 off.

Wishing you a happy, healthy and organized 2013. Thanks for reading.

Letter to the Mayans

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Dear Mayans,

mayanAs I write this it is December 22, 2012. I guess all that talk about the world ending yesterday was just a way for you to get some extra attention. Tell me the truth, did you just run out of room or were you tired of continuing on with that calendar? Either way I am happy that the world did not end yesterday.

I saw on the news about people getting ready for the end of the world, and although I believe in being prepared (I am an organizer, after all) it gave me pause to think about what would I regret if the world had suddenly come to an abrupt end?

Top on my list was telling those I love, just how important they are to me. We are never sure what tomorrow will bring and so thanks Mayans for that gentle reminder that life is precious. I’d like to be a better friend too. Sometimes I get so caught up in the day to day stuff that I miss opportunities to spend time with my friends. I’d like to make new friends too. I know that takes time and effort but the rewards are worth it.

I’d like to take more time for fun. Work can sometimes consume all of my available time as there is always more I can do. So, I am going to make time to “play” (without feeling guilty) and stretch myself out of my comfort zone. Imagine if the world had ended and I never got to catch that tuna, take a hot air balloon ride over Italy or hang glide.

In general I hope to be less stressed, take more time for the little things, be less judgmental of crazy drivers (this will be very tough) and be grateful everyday for the multitude of blessings in my life.

So, thanks Mayans, for not being right ….this time.

Laine

Tomorrow I'll Do It

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Tame your time
Tame your time

The word procrastinate is defined by Webster as, “to put off doing something usually out of habitual carelessness or laziness or to postpone or delay needlessly.” I am not so sure I agree with that definition. Sometimes we have to procrastinate because there simply is not enough time in the day to do it all. If the task is really important it will get done but only when its priority is increased. For example, a student who needs to study for a test, will eventually sit down and study or will have to accept the consequences of a low grade. For the ADHD brain, the pressure of a task that HAS TO get done is often enough of an adrenaline rush to push you to get it done. Sometimes though, you may have to trick yourself by setting false deadlines as if they were real.

First step in eliminating procrastination is deciding what is in it for you and what will happen if you don’t do it? This should help you determine if you are really committed to it. Then determine what is preventing you from completing it. Is it a fear of failure or lack of information? Or are you afraid you cannot do a “perfect” job so you don’t start?

Next, decide to get started. Break the task into manageable pieces or set a time limit and work until the time is up. You may realize it isn’t as difficult as you thought and you can keep going.  Cheryl Richardson starts her day asking herself, “What action do I most want to avoid doing today?” Then she begins with that and notes that things quickly change for the better after that. Remember to reduce distractions before you begin working and reward yourself when you complete the task. Overcoming the procrastination habit leads to healthy feeling of being in control of your life. Want to feel competent and capable? Then do it today!

The Past Does Not Equal The Future

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I am not sure who said “the past does not equal the future” (maybe Tony Robbins) but I think it is an important reminder as we start the new school year.  Just because “x, y and z” happened last year, does not mean it will happen again this year. Each new school year is a chance to start over…a bit like new years. It does have some of the same problems though….we start off fresh and then fall back into our old habits just like those resolutions that last a day or a week.

This year, why not focus on the positive. Acknowledge your child every day they sit down and get to their homework on their own. Rather than “that’s great!” try something that shows how responsible they are being or mentions the new habits they are developing that can lead to improved grades. This encourages them to put the specifics together with their feelings about what you said. This ignites a little intrinsic motivation fire that hopefully they will want to continue to fuel. When kids feel good about themselves and what they can do…there is no stopping them.

Staying with the theme of the positive this year, ask “what” questions rather than “why” questions. Can you hear the difference between: “What homework will you work on next?” And “Why isn’t your math done yet?” It’s all a matter of how you phrase things. Asking “why” questions has an implied judgment in it, don’t you think?

Parents, the new school year isn’t just a fresh start for your child, it is for you too. What can you do to make “x”, “y” and “z” better for yourself and your family this year?

Wishing all my clients and their families (and students and families everywhere) an organized, calm, and successful school year.

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It's About TIME

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time-timerIt is almost time for getting back to school. If last year was a struggle, it was probably about that four letter word…T I M E.

Does your child have the same perception/understanding about time that you do? If you feel that you are often encouraging them to “hurry up” or if they sometimes miss the bus or stay up late completing a project then you might want to try this experiment. Gather the family and a stop watch. Ask the children to close their eyes and not open them until they feel a minute of time has passed. Each individual will guess differently. Now have them time you. Is their sense of a minute longer or shorter than yours? Are you thinking it has been a minute when it has only been 30 seconds? Sometimes children haven’t developed that internal sense of the passing of time. Sometimes adults are in such a state of “rush” that they lose that sense of time. Using analog clocks and visual timers like a time timer can help develop that internal sense.

Next thing to figure out is how much time is available and what is it being used for? I suggest having your child keep track of his time on a time log. It is a great way to see where the time is going. Is there enough time for homework or are after school activities cutting that short? Sometimes, kids are doing the best they can but they are so exhausted from other activities, that homework only gets the minimum amount of effort. Other times they are just wasting the time or are multitasking between homework and Face Book.

So, is there enough time for the homework? Check the planner. If the student is using it, they should begin to estimate the amount of time each subject will take them. Add up those estimates and decide if there REALLY is enough time.

There are two drawbacks to a paper planner. Assignments are usually written in on the day they are given and not on the day they are due. So, if a project or test is due a week away, there is no reminder once the planner page has been turned. Secondly, a planner doesn’t provide the big picture view of what is due. Many students are using the calendar feature on their iPod touch or Google calendar to keep track of assignments and also to set reminders. Electronic reminders don’t forget and… kids don’t see them as “nagging” either.

Printing out the calendar view or writing all assignments on a monthly calendar helps to give the big picture view of what is coming up. Be sure to write in all activities and appointments so that students know exactly how much time they have to get homework done. The big picture also helps them see how many days they will need to work on a long term project.  It allows them to add in small blocks of studying over several days to prep for a test. This has been shown to be more effective than cramming the night before. Using these strategies will help your child begin to understand that time can’t be stretched and if they want to have free time to themselves, they need to use the time they have efficiently.

If you’d like to stop “reminding” your child about homework every day and begin to build independence then check out our daily email program called end homework hassle. Each day a new strategy or skill is sent to your child through email. You get a weekly update of the content so you can support them as they go.