Laine

Conquering the Summer Reading List

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Summer’s just about ½ over! That means along with camp, sports practice and summer fun, children and teens also need to find time for reading. Many schools provide a summer reading list beginning in the fourth or fifth grades requesting that students read two or more books from a selection. Requirements vary from one to five books and students may be asked to either write something about each book or take a “test” on them once they are back at school.

If your child has a list and has not started it here is a way to create a plan and avoid the last minute rush. First figure out how many books are required and either borrow them from the library, download them onto an ipad or tablet or buy them. Look at the calendar and divide the number of weeks left by the number of pages in the book. For example, if you have two books to read and each is 200 pages then your child would need to read 400/5=80 pages a week (based on 5 weeks left of summer) to finish both books. That would mean reading about 16 pages a day five days a week. A reality check with a calendar and the books required will help your child develop a better sense of time management. Or you can divide the book by its chapters and figure out how long it would take to finish if your child read a chapter a day.

To encourage children to read, there is no better way than to model it yourself. Set aside 20-30 minutes of reading time for the whole family each day. Find a time that works for your family such as, after a meal, late afternoon, or before bedtime. Summer is a great time for you to get some reading in too. Nothing beats reading a good book in the shade while sipping an iced tea. Sharing and discussing books is a great way to keep those communication lines open. What are you reading? Let me know on my Facebook page or in the comment section below.

“Connecting a child and a book is like dropping a pebble into the water. You never know where the ripples will end up.” Ronald Jobe

Family Room Fixes to Encourage Communication

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family-room-lIf the kitchen is the heart of the home then the family room/living room is the soul. It is the room that brings the family together. It is a place to relax, unwind, entertain and be entertained. Communication happens here and relationships are built and/or strengthened here. Is your family room conducive to communication or is it cluttered with energy draining reminders?

First, take a look around. Often things are piled because they do not have a “home.”  Remove those things that do not belong in the room or create a space for them. Do you have enough storage for your CD’s, DVD’s and Video Games? Shelves, baskets or closed cabinets work well for these. Sort all media into piles and then count or measure how much you have before purchasing new containers. Be sure that you leave space to grow. Recycle newspapers, catalogs and all but the current month of your magazines unless there are important articles you want to read. Tear them out and put them in a plastic file folder (the kind with the string closure) and keep them in your car for those unexpected waiting times. Consider cutting down on those magazines that you never seem to get to read.

Take a look at the furniture placement. Is it encouraging communication or is the seating spread out to the edges of the room? It is often difficult to have conversations especially while the TV is on if people are seated too far away. Ever notice how loud commercials are? Well, take advantage of those three minutes to communicate by pausing (if you have a DVR) or muting the commercials. Discuss the show or take time to connect with your family. Better yet, plan some family fun for one or two nights a week and keep the TV off.

Keeping the family room neat and functional makes it the room everyone wants to be in. Take the time to give it a summer pick me up and then have the family take 10 minutes before bed to put everything back in its place. Then enjoy the added time to connect with your loved ones.

If you’re not sure where to start, or your room needs some extra organization help, then give me a call (781.659.0513) and in two or three hours you’ll be amazed at the difference.

The Art of the Master To Do List

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There once was a Mama Bear who felt like she was part “day planner.”  Every day she would go through the calendar and the to do list. She would gently remind the little bears what activities they had or what they needed to “get done” and also prompt the papa bear of what he needed to remember too. Often the Mama Bear would mention a task or problem that needed fixing, and unless it was urgent, or papa bear had free time at that moment….it often went undone. This continued for years until the Mama Bear realized she was doing all the remembering and everyone was depending on her to think for them and still things were not getting done.

So, Mama Bear, being the “organized” one decided to teach the big bear and the little bears how to keep track of things with a master to do list. Here’s what I learned from her:

  • Create a list of all the tasks you want to remember. Often our brain will wake us up in the middle of the night because it does not want us to forget something. This is commonly called a “brain dump.” Don’t let your to do’s keep you up.
  • Put everything on it, even that project you “hope” to get to someday but make sure that it is in the form of the smallest action you can take. Redo the dining room is too big of a project, so you should write down the steps that are involved. (Helpful apps: color note, Evernote, Hiveminder, etc.)
  • Write down any deadlines or due dates and be sure to highlight those things that need to be done in the current month.
  • Don’t get alarmed! All this stuff was floating around in your head anyway and probably draining your energy. You should feel relieved that nothing has “fallen through the cracks.”
  • Decide what needs to be done and/or what you would like to get done this week or this month.
  • Estimate how long those things will take – be realistic.
  • Pick the three top things you want or must do (given the amount of time you have in your day)
  • Now either add them into specific dates on your calendar or set aside a “block” of time (preferably each week) that you will tackle tasks on this list.
  • Each week as you are planning pick the tasks off of the master list to add to your week or your time slot. Don’t cross them off your master to do list unless you ACTUALLY complete them.
  • Celebrate your successes. Remember you will always have a list – just make sure it has what is important to you. Life will get in the way….so start each day fresh and don’t carry things over from the previous day unless you really want to.

Papa Bear now has his own master list, and he and Mama Bear discuss the upcoming week (and the to dos) each Sunday over breakfast. And that makes Mama Bear happy!

Summer Solutions to Organization

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summer-beach-graphicTwo questions for you. First, what does organization mean to you? Second, what does summer mean to you? To me, those two questions go together because if you’re organized there is a better chance that you can take advantage of all the things that summer has to offer. It takes planning and keeping up with the things that we usually do on the weekend and handling them during the week in order to have your weekends free to do what makes you happy.

Do you have systems for:

  • meal planning and grocery shopping?
  • bills, paperwork and email?
  • laundry?
  • projects?
  • planning your week?

Can you find what you need when you need it or do you need to….

  • de-clutter?
  • organize?
  • simplify?

If time just seems to slip away and you feel like it is a struggle to make it through the week, then it is time to get organized!

June will be here in two days and that means that the warm weather is on its way. Although yesterday it was 47° here in the Boston area, today we are a bit more hopeful as the sun is out and the thermometer is crawling its way to 60. Will this be the summer you get organized and have more fun?

If you answered “yes” then let’s talk or send me an email and see how our Summer Solutions Program can help you make the most of this summer. laine@laineslogic.com or (781)659-0513. Hurry- time flies!

 

Homework Coach or Enforcer?

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frustrated over homeworkIs homework a battle in your home? If you find that it has become a nightly battle or that your child or teen has lost interest in school; then it may be time to try a different approach. I will admit I sympathize with teens trying to become independent when often the adults around them are inadvertently taking away their sense of control. If you find that you are constantly asking them if their homework is done or suggesting ways for them to get it done then here are five tips to take you from homework enforcer to homework coach. Remember the role of a good coach is to encourage problem solving skills, develop independence and provide support when needed.

          • The first and most important step is to realize whether or not you are enabling your child/teen to feel helpless. If you are constantly reminding them to do their homework, get ready for school, pack their backpack, or go to bed why would they need to remember? The same thing applies if you are solving their problems for them or designing their notebook your way. All of these things take the pressure off of your teen and puts it on you. You’ll need to work together to figure out how much your teen can do independently and what he or she might need a little support for. I know it is often easier to keep track of it yourself, but teaching your teen to problem solve, keep track of assignments and get their work done independently are all skills they need to develop for a successful life.
          • Ask questions that begin with the word, “what” rather than “did” or “is”. Questions that require a simple yes or no answer will only get you the one word answer. Ask a question that requires them to answer in a sentence that gives you some real information. For example, “What homework do you have left to do?” This sounds less judgmental and requires more than a one word answer to reply. Good coaches ask higher level questions that need explanations, rather than simple one word replies.
          • Start with the end in mind, is a term that Stephen Covey used but is helpful for those having trouble with completing homework. Help your child visualize what that assignment or project looks like when it is completed. Then you can guide them to work backwards to include all the steps necessary to get it to that point. You can also help “backwards plan” long term projects with specific dates to work on the pieces of the project. If necessary, create the plan together and then have certain check ins rather than always asking if it is done.
          • Discuss with your child/teen what kind of an environment is best for them to work in. Do they like it quiet and away from the rest of the family or do they like to be where the action is? Many younger students don’t like to be alone in their rooms, for them it is easier to work in the kitchen or close by. Use a trifold foam board to create a distraction free zone and keep the TV and radio off and let them use their own music with ear buds. I have read that music can “satisfy” the hungry ADHD brain by providing enough stimulation to help it relax. This is done by listening to the same playlist every day during homework time. It is not picking each song but pressing play once and letting the same music play lightly in the background for about 30-45 minutes. That is long enough to get some work done. Have them take a short break and then get back to their homework and play that list of songs again.
          • Make sure your children have some “down” time. Everyone is entitled to relax after a long day. In fact, research says that having some down time after working, helps the brain to process what was just learned. Many students are not getting the 8-9 hours of sleep they need to do their best. Those with ADHD will benefit from designing a “routine” for sleep. Start with shutting down electronics at least 30 minutes before bed (the blue light stimulates serotonin the wake up hormone), dim the lights (good for increasing melatonin the sleep hormone) and relax. Add in the other bedtime get ready tasks and aim to have them in bed around the same time each night. Aim for at least 8 hours but 9 is ideal.

Parents, you are your child/teen’s life line.They may continue to need your support throughout school but as they enter middle and high school, it is time for them to develop their problem solving skills. That means they don’t need you to solve their problems or challenges for them but to work with them to come up with solutions together. Stay calm. When stressed, cortisol, the stress hormone, is released into the body and it can literally shut down the brain making it nearly impossible to think. Students cannot force their stressed brain to think at that point and it is best to take a break and go do something active. Exercise increases the level of dopamine and other neurotransmitters (good chemicals) in the brain that can help get them back on track. If the situation gets too stressful, it is best to just walk away. Homework is homework….let the teacher deal with it.

Thanks for reading,

Laine

Get in the ZONE

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houseLook around your home; are you happy with the condition it is in? Can you find what you need quickly and easily? Or do you suffer from C.H.A.O.S. (Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)? Well, stop living in fear of the doorbell (or cancelling play dates) and take back your weekend at the same time.

Often times we feel the “need” to clean the house weekly and many people spend their Saturdays doing just that. The problem with that is, if you have a special event to go to or your child is on a team your Saturday is not your own.  I know you have limited time and that there are lots of things competing for your time and attention – especially your children. Our home is our oasis from the outside world and should be comfortable and relatively stress free – it does not need to be dust free. De-cluttering and organizing are often very helpful and if the family gets involved, they’ll learn habits that will benefit them their whole life. So, here’s a plan that takes 15-20 minutes a day that the whole family can help with.

First: divide your home into 5 or 6 zones. A zone can be one room or a combination of rooms but don’t make it too big. You want to be able to do a bit of de-clutter, organizing and/or cleaning in the 20 minute block. For example, zone 1 for me includes the breezeway (because most people enter there), entry way and ½ bath (which is right near that back door). Zone 2 includes the kitchen, dining room (which does not get used very often) and the foyer. The idea is to create small enough areas that you can work on for 15-20 minutes each night and feel like you are making progress. At the same time you can have the rest of the family doing the DPU (15 minute daily pick up) and picking up and putting away in other rooms or get them to help with the current zone.  At first, you may only have time for de-cluttering, later on though as you keep at it each week, you’ll not only get to clean the areas but you’ll have time to deep clean or go one step further – whatever that is for you.

Next, figure out what time of day would work best for you and the family to take those 20 minutes. Will it be before dinner, before getting the kids ready for bed, after the kids are in bed or different each day? It’s okay if it is different every day but I feel it is important to “plan” it into your day somehow. So schedule it for the first week and then each day work on one zone. Monday is my zone one, so it is the breezeway, back door entry and ½ bath that get my attention. The biggest thing here in the winter is the sand and grit that gets carried in. So, with a shake of the rugs and a quick vacuum (using a cordless stick vacuum because my central vacuum has a 20 foot hose that is just not convenient for me), I change the towels in the bathroom and clean the fixtures and I’m done. One week I also had time to clean out the medicine cabinet and another week I cleaned out the drawers in the vanity. Even if your cleaning service comes each week, you can still de-clutter and organize and save the cleaning for them.

Lastly, only you can decide what things are important in your home. You may want to focus one day on just mail, or paying the bills, or collecting the recycling for trash day. Whatever works for you is what is important and you’ll need to consider why it is important to you. Life is full of so many “shoulds” that we often don’t stop to consider the “whys”.  Why take the time to do this? Only you can answer that.

How to Have a FANTASTIC 2014

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plannerI call it strategic planning and I do it for my business and for myself each year. One year my husband and I went away for the weekend and spent an entire day coming up with goals for the new year. We definitely were overly ambitious and could not have predicted that life and job hunting would take up the majority of his time. We did do some things but our focus was divided, so this year we are sitting down to create a mini strategic plan for 2014. It will be a little less ambitious but will include more “fun” time, more exercise, Sundays as a no work day, planned “date” nights, reorganization/maintenance of several rooms and no more than three big projects. You get the idea. What would you like to change or do this year (first name?)

When we first did this we used Jack Canfield’s Success Principles book as a guide and used his seven categories to define the areas of our lives. They are: work/career, finances, recreation/free time, health and fitness, relationships, personal goals and contribution to society. We then came up with a (S.M.A.R.T.) goal for each and then listed some “to do’s” under each. When projects like redo the dining room and clean out the basement started showing up on the personal list we decided to add an eighth category called physical environment. That took my “organizing projects” and hubby’s fix it projects off the personal list and into its own category (whew!). You can use whatever categories work for you (family, health, spiritual, lifestyle, etc.) but go “light” on the goals you set for yourself so that you can taste the success and continue to be motivated and not overwhelmed or feel defeated.

The whole thing was a bit overwhelming that first year so we decided we would think ahead only one quarter – just January, February and March. We took a yearlong calendar and added in the Big Rocks (commitments, vacation, holidays, etc.) first so we could see what time was actually left. (Don’t tell anyone but I have a SLIGHT tendency to overbook myself.) Then we went month by month for the first three even getting down to the nitty gritty tasks we want to do and making sure they were balanced with non “work” type activities. Don’t try to work in each category each month, maybe pick two and just do a few things that resonate with you. You can build on your successes.

Here are the top five resolutions for 2014 according to statistic brain (click the link to check out the other five).

  • Lose Weight
  • Getting Organized
  • Spend Less, Save More
  • Enjoy Life to the Fullest
  • Staying Fit and Healthy

If one or more of these is on your list, then first change it into a goal by making it specific, measurable, attainable, realistic (i.e. Not 50 pounds in a month) and time specific. Next break it down into ten things you can do to achieve that. Break it down even further into the very next action you can do towards it and put that in your calendar. Often times we have multistep projects on our list that require more time and steps to complete than we have in a day….so do yourself a favor and only put single action steps into your calendar or on your to do list. Keep asking yourself questions until you get to the single, next action and only put three to five actions on any one day. Watch for more tips on my Face Book page throughout the month.

Hey Students – It is OKAY to Get Help

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Good grades start at home

The best kept secret these days is that going to see the teacher after school can improve your teen’s grades. Over the last several months I have asked a number of students (many of them clients whom I see because they or their parents want their grades to improve) if they go after school to get extra help. 90% of them say no. They say things like, “I can do it on my own I just have to take the time, work harder, study more,” etc. The other 10% say they have and that they found it helpful. If your teen is part of the 90%, you might want to ask your friends if their teens go after for help. Then without mentioning names of course, you can say you know of x number of other kids who do and they found it helpful maybe their grades have even gone up.

I usually suggest that for a teen’s toughest subject, they go after once or twice a week for two or three weeks and then compare their grade on the most recent quiz or test to one that they had before they started going after school. Once they see that the scores have gone up (and that some of their friends are there too) they might not be so apprehensive about going.

If that does not work then encourage them to at least ask the Internet wizards by searching for their topic/problem online. Sites like www.khanacademy.org, (video and audio combo makes this site my favorite) www.quizlet.com, (for flashcards and flashcard practice) and www.factmonster.com (although I don’t like the fact this site has ads) are places to start. Students can even “Google” quadratic equations for example (or whatever is stumping them at the time) and come up with over 4 million sites that can help. Sometimes students cannot understand the concept from the way it was presented in class, just getting another perspective from the Internet can make it click. Yes, I do recommend reading Sparknotes too if they struggle with reading comprehension, but they HAVE TO do the reading first and course notes for other subjects.

Winter break is a great time to take a look at some sites and do a little recon work to find help for those concepts they may not have mastered. Dare I say the midyear exams are only a week away. Whatever they have not understood up to this point, usually comes back to haunt them on the midyear or final exam.

It is okay to get help. Working harder at understanding something that you truly don’t understand is usually ineffective. As a coach I find guiding students to find their own solutions (and making it look like it was their idea) is very rewarding for all.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of 2013

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070621-partyhatAs we say goodbye to another year (I know I can’t believe it either) and welcome 2014, it is time to think about the past for just a few minutes. If you’re like me you might be wondering where 2013 went. I seem to be missing a few weeks somewhere, how about you?

Well, take a few moments and look through the year’s planner pages or calendar (whatever you are using) to recall how you chose to spend it. I call this my “good, bad and ugly” memory trip through the year. Make three columns (or lists)on a sheet of paper and as you go through the months write down the things you want to remember under each of those categories.

Good

  • Husband loves new job
  • Son got married

Bad

  • Vacation postponed
  • Gained 7 pounds

Ugly

  • Broke promises to myself
  • Three unfinished projects calling – no screaming at me

You get the idea. Take a few minutes now and make your list. Now you can focus on reducing the “bad” and the “ugly” and increasing the “good” in 2014. What will that take? Let me know in the comments below please.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014!

 

 

7 Steps to a Successful Day

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Late againEver have one of those days when everything seems to go wrong? Well research now says that a chemical change occurs in the brain when the first thing goes wrong in the morning. Then our reaction to that one thing can set the tone for the rest of the day – even after the chemical change is over. Bad days happen to all of us now and then but here are seven steps that can turn those days around. Start tonight!

1. Set a bedtime! This is first because it can make the difference between having enough energy to get through a busy day or feeling sleep deprived and self-medicating with caffeine or food all day long. Make sure you get enough sleep (7-9 hours for adults) to wake up refreshed.

2. Make a plan the night before. What are your priorities, list appointments and/or meetings and think about what you need to get done and also what is coming up in the next two days?

3. Decide what you’ll eat tomorrow. What is for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks? By thinking about it ahead of time you are less likely to make unhealthy choices. Having a weekly meal plan takes the stress out of thinking about what to prepare for dinner each night.

4. Load the launch pad. That area near the door where you keep all that you need to take with you will take the stress out of your morning rush. Make sure keys, pocketbook, cellphone, id and anything else you need is ready to grab at the door. Put out tomorrow’s clothes and jewelry as well. No thinking in the morning required.

5. Plan when to “move it” for 30 minutes tomorrow. If you try and wait to see what “feels like” a good time to workout, you probably won’t. By setting the time ahead of time, you can set out your clothes, call a friend to meet you for that walk, or just wake up ready to exercise and know that you have started your day off on a positive note.

6. Drink more water. According to the CDC we don’t drink enough water. So bring a few bottles with you so that you have them ready and space them out throughout your day. Getting the bottles ready the night before, makes it just a matter of grab and go. (Or get yourself a large refillable, non-plastic bottle.)

7. Allow extra time in the morning. If you don’t like to jump out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off then allow for extra time. You want to be able to get ready for the morning at a leisurely pace and not have to be rushing here and there. Stress can affect your entire day.

Do whatever you can the night before to make your morning run smoothly and you’ll feel so much better at the end of your successful day.