self care

Keep Calm and Celebrate: 5 Stress Busting Strategies to Use Now

by

Stress BusterIt’s official, we are in the holiday season. With Thanksgiving falling at the very end of November, it seems everyone is getting into the holiday spirit a lot earlier this year. How about you? Do you feel your stress level increasing at this time of the year as you try to juggle multiple responsibilities? Here is some help to ease the stress.

Here are my 5 Stress Busters:

              1. Declutter – not your typical way
              2. Prioritize health
              3. Create a realistic plan
              4. Stress free zone
              5. Reduce and unplug

Stress Buster #1:Declutter Important Spaces

If you are entertaining (or would like to) this holiday season but feel a bit overwhelmed by the clutter around you, then I am sorry to tell you that now is NOT the time to declutter or organize. Sorry to tell you that, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make things easier on yourself quickly and painlessly so that you CAN do the hosting you want.

There are three areas of your home that you probably use for guests. The living room/family room/great room where the entertaining happens, the kitchen where you do all the preparing and the bathroom, are the three key areas to declutter.

Step 1: Get a trash bag and a recycle bin and go as quickly as possible around those three rooms in a clockwise manner and toss, or recycle whatever you can. (Estimate:<30 mins)

Step 2: Find as many bins and boxes as you can and head to the bathroom with one or two. Put away anything that belongs there and load what doesn’t belong or doesn’t have a place, into your bins or boxes. Is the counter clear? How about the floor? Wet towels go in the laundry bin not the decluttering bins😊 (Estimate: <15 minutes)

Continue this process in the entertaining room. Start to the left of the doorway and work your way around the room in a clockwise manner loading whatever doesn’t belong or does not have a “home” into the bins. You could also make bins for each family member to take care of their own things rather than storing them. We all know our family and friends are probably not judging us, but when our homes are overwhelming us, it is harder to focus on others through our own embarrassment. When you feel good about your space, and it works, you can relax and enjoy. (Estimate: <60 minutes)

Lastly, it’s time to tackle the kitchen. This is probably the most difficult space to clear out but also the one with the biggest impact. Imagine working in your kitchen with clear counters and finding the tools you need quickly and effortlessly. What would that feel like (first name?) Now remove anything that you won’t need for entertaining into a bin. Start from the sink and move clockwise, touching things only once to put into a bin or return to its home. For kitchen items you might want to categorize what goes into each bin, just in case you need something in a hurry. (Ex. Extra pans, knick knacks, appliances like instant pot or extra storage containers, etc.) (Estimate: <90 minutes)

Step 3: Remove all the bins to some other space where your guests won’t see them but where you can access them if necessary. Take a look around, how does that feel?

Step 4: Now it should be easier to quickly clean these spaces. (For your family’s health, please use products that are environmentally friendly and people friendly. Chemicals and fragrances can be harmful to your health.)

Stress Buster #2:Take Care of Yourself

Holidays are no fun, if you get sick. Yet, that’s when we tend to squeeze more things into an already overpacked schedule. Eating and sleeping tend to get less attention the busier we are, but have the greatest impact on our energy and health. With some advance planning you can have quick and healthy options ready. Make a list of your favorites and the time it takes to get them ready. Looking at a list to pick from is so much easier than trying to think of what you can make when it is already late and you’re starving. Better yet, make a meal plan for the week.

Stick to a bedtime, seven days a week. What time will that be? That is up to you, but it needs to be consistent or your body will call you on it. Getting some sunlight in the morning or afternoon can help reset your circadian rhythms making it easier to fall asleep. Reading for as little as 7 minutes is also supposed to help. Some people find listening to audible books or the calm app is helpful. Making sure to avoid screens (TV included) for 60-90 minutes before bed helps melatonin do its job. Aim for at least 7-8 hours so you can wake up refreshed.

Stress Buster #3: Your Plan

Create a REALISTIC plan. I know your cape comes out at this time of year and you become a superhero but, as your coach, I have to ask you, “what is it costing you?” When you are running on adrenaline and cortisol, it takes a toll on your reserves. You know those things that when they run out, you end up exhausted, cranky and sometimes sick.

A realistic plan starts with knowing what you “have to” and “want to” do in the next few weeks. Maybe brain dump (cranial cleanse all those thoughts) out onto paper. Get the family’s input and put rough estimates on the time each task takes next to them. Add them up. Humanly possible? Probably not. What can go? What’s really important and where can you schedule it in? Make sure your calendar is already up to date with school scheduled events, family parties and appointments. Now try to fit in 3-5 similar tasks a day, several days this week. Keep weekends open for fun and Sunday prep for the week time if possible. Any events in the future you need tickets or reservations for, book them now. Sometimes the future seems so far off and then suddenly….it’s here.

Stress Buster #4: Stress Free Chill Zone

Create a stress-free zone. Any area where you can go to relax and/or spend some time doing something you love without thinking about all the other stuff you still have to do. You need some downtime to recharge and clear out the brain RAM so you are ready for whatever comes next. Try to take a 30-60-minute break for yourself each day, (I know it seems impossible) but the benefits are incredible! Unplug, be creative or just take a catnap – whatever helps to recharge your batteries give it a try and see what happens.

Stress Buster #5:Limit the Negative

This is probably the toughest, yet, most effective stress buster if you want to relax and unwind at home – reduce your exposure to social media and the news. It is hard to escape the constant attention grabbing, sensationalism, that the news has become. From verywellmind.com…

“…constant exposure to negative information can impact our brain,” says Annie Miller, MSW, LCSW-C, LICSW. Consuming the news can activate the sympathetic nervous system, which causes your body to release stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.” Even if the news is just background noise it was shown to have a negative impact.

Reduce your exposure and you will reduce anxiety, worry and fear that often comes with the news. The article goes on to suggest doing something to “energize and enrich” your life rather than watching what makes you feel worse. Maybe head to your stress-free zone or have a family game night, do a puzzle, watch Hallmark, hang some decorations – whatever you see as positive. I hope it will also help you sleep better. Your brain continues to process whatever you have done or seen in the last 30 minutes once you are in bed. No wonder we can’t sleep!

This is the time to protect yourself and your family from the stress of the outside world. Your home is your sanctuary and it should be filled with love and calmness that nurtures and recharges you and your family.

Got 5 Minutes?

by

5 minutes on Time timerTime is our most precious commodity. If we don’t use it, we lose it and it is one thing we can never get back. Sure, we can try to pack more into a day but often that leaves us feeling overworked, exhausted or stressed. Ever feel cheated that you didn’t get to do what you REALLY wanted or needed to do?

Instead of cramming more into our day, look for a few spaces between tasks, errands or transitions. I am sure there are several five-minute blocks somewhere in your day. For today, let’s assume you found 3 blocks of 5 minutes = 15 minutes total. You decide what works for you. Just don’t overdo it trying to get one more thing done and make yourself late.

Now how will you use those 5-minute blocks? You can decide your three big categories, and then list ideas under each. My three categories are listed below with some ideas to help get you started. Use your imagination and make it work for you. I have seen how having a specific time limit can help motivate us for unpleasant tasks every week during Work It Wednesday when we use 3, 25-minute blocks to get things done (contact me for zoom link to join us at 10am ET). Let’s use these blocks to improve our lives.

Self-Care

  • Drink a glass of water
  • Go outside and breathe
  • Stretch my muscles
  • Call or text a friend
  • Meditate (yes, even 5 minutes is beneficial)

Declutter/Organize

  • Put away the winter jackets and boots
  • Clean out and organize a drawer
  • Remove 5+ things no longer needed or wanted
  • Toss/recycle today’s junk mail and catalogs
  • Declutter a shelf or clear a counter of all non-essentials

Family

  • Spend 5 minutes with each child and listen
  • Plan a family activity for the weekend
  • Make a meal plan for the week
  • Go outside (take a walk, shoot hoops, swing, etc.)
  • Do a 5 minute (maybe longer) reset to be ready for tomorrow

Creating routines and habits that keep the family organized impacts the level of stress in your home. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish in five minutes. Feel free to build onto the momentum as we have seen how clutter and disorganization can impact mood, weight, stress and health.

Let me know what you are most proud of doing in your 5 minutes over on my Facebook page. Let’s get a conversation going.

Look Back Before You Leap Forward in 2022

by

new yearFarewell 2021 – Although I would like to say I am happy to see you go, the reality is that I don’t remember much of what happened in 2021. What do you remember from 2021?
I took some time to go through my journal from last year and skimmed through the photos on my phone in order to bring it all back into focus. Don’t you just love it when Google reminds you of what happened last year on this date?
The more often we recall those events, the more likely they are to stay in our memories. My planner is another place I look for past events, ideas and recurring themes. You get the idea. I searched for the high and low points of last year and the special moments that occurred and noticed some of the challenges that were sprinkled throughout.

For me, those covid added pounds and blurry work boundaries showed up throughout. For you, it might be disorganization, financial stress or negative self-talk or any number of other concerns. Whatever your top two are, I’m suggesting that you not make a resolution or a complex plan to tackle it this year. We know resolutions don’t work and we end up with more negativity and feelings of failure for something that we “feel” we should be able to do.

Let’s take another approach. It is a fact that the brain tends to focus on the negative rather than the positive side of things (it’s genetic, to protect us). Now let’s add in this new thing called, “Covid/Pandemic Fatigue” which is, according to an article on Healthline, completely natural, yet leads to being “demotivated and exhausted with the demands of life during the Covid crisis.” You don’t need me to tell you that there is more fatigue and negativity all around us – why should we promote it if we don’t have to?

New “rule” for 2022, let’s focus on the positives!

Change just one thing- your approach to each day.

There are lots of options, which ones resonate with you?

• Ask yourself, “What can I do today to be more positive or that will add to my day?”
• What can I do today to take better care of myself?
• Keep track of your successes with a Victory List
• What one thing can I organize today? (You know I had to put that in)
• Keep out the ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) that creep in
• Take a photo to capture a positive in your day
• Read an uplifting quote
• Start a gratitude journal
• Go to bed on time!
• Walk away from your work – keep clear boundaries
• Turn off your screens and tune into those around you

If you do have something you want to improve or work on this year, then do it in a positive way and 2022 just may be your best year yet!

 

Graphic thanks to Freepik:

Three Keys to an Extraordinary Year

by

magic of intentionsEach year we start out with the best of intentions. Sometimes though, those intentions can turn out to be so much extra work that we quickly give up. Let’s take a look at three things you can do to make sure you are doing things for the right reasons.

First up, a family meeting is a great way to hear what is important about the year from each person’s perspective. In order to make logical choices for you and your family, you will need to create some boundaries.

Create some Boundaries:

• Decide if “x” is worth your time, energy or effort before you say yes. Sure, you may want to do it all but at what price?
• What is fun for each person? Can you incorporate that into a plan?
• Handle or prevent those interruptions and obligations that you can control and find a way to limit or cut short those that have you at the mercy of someone else.
• Turn off your alerts and decide when you will be available.
• Get everyone involved and listen to their input. They will be more invested in the outcomes.

Taking care of yourself is the next key. It’s hard to let go of our own expectations sometimes but it is extra important to stay well this year. Self-care means making the time to exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, socialize and do the things that lower your stress level. Being organized makes your life easier too, why do things the hard way when you don’t have to?

Self-Care keys:

• Create morning and evening routines that serve you that include a specific bedtime and wake up time.
• Set aside some time for yourself. (Sometimes that means locking the bathroom door – do whatever it takes).
• Choose wisely grasshopper, as you are trading away time that can never be regained.
• What helps you feel recharged? Can you fit that in somewhere?

Lastly, Planning and Prioritizing are important. Prioritizing will keep the important things on the top of the list and having a plan will keep you on track. By creating an action list the night before, you have time to think about how important those tasks are to you. Without a plan your day can go in any direction but with a plan you are in charge of where it goes.

Ways to Plan and Prioritize:

• It’s okay to not be able to do it all – some things should never be done, and some can easily be put off as long as you are the one that decides. Get the family to pitch in too.
• Schedule in even the tiniest tasks, don’t list a project with multiple steps on the list just the next step.
• Estimate how long you think a task will take and then time yourself. Don’t forget to include travel time, prep time and clean up time.
• Be realistic in the amount you can accomplish in one day. Start small and build your momentum by getting the higher priorities or the more distasteful (but important) ones done
early.

Keeping these three keys in mind will help you focus on what is really important this year and hopefully it will help you feel less stressed-and that’s my hope for you.

***********

Self-Care is a Necessity for You and Them

by

What does self-care mean to you? Here is a definition I found on PsychCentral. “Self–care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.“  I thought it was grabbing a piece of chocolate? Seriously though, during this busy winter season it is important to remember to take time to recharge and renew because it is when our reserves are low that we are most susceptible to colds and stress. So, self-care is not a luxury, it is a vital and necessary part of a balanced life.

What recharges you? Researchers have discovered that as little as 15 minutes in nature is enough to recharge the brain, lower stress levels and increase feelings of well-being. Or maybe you prefer a cup of tea, a good book, a nap, a 10-minute meditation or some music. Whatever makes you happy. Find something (a few things) that give you that “recharged” feeling that you can use every day. Do you have a hobby that can be easily picked up? Whatever it is, it is important to give the brain a break to regain some of its energy. There is also reducing stress, getting a good night’s sleep (adults need 7-8 hours….not 6), being active and eating healthy. If you struggle with ADHD, it is even more important to take time to recharge daily.

Help your child with ADHD recognize what makes them feel good too and instill an understanding for the importance of eating healthy, getting enough sleep (8-11 hours), and exercise in order to recharge their ADHD brain. Cultivate their interest in something that excites them and that they are good at to rebuild the self-confidence ADHD can sometimes whittle away.

Kids are working so hard at school, especially if they have ADHD. The constant stimulus and distractions can use up their physical and emotional reserves so that by the time they get home, the tiniest thing may send them out of control (or at least be more of an outburst than would be normal if they were at their best.) The brain uses the most energy of any organ in the body and those with ADHD have lower levels of dopamine, the “feel good hormone” needed for thinking and emotional stability. As soon as they get home it is time to refuel and recharge. Do not hit the homework before taking a 30-45 minute break for some active fun, and a protein snack.

Help your child discover the little things they can do to calm and recharge in a short amount of time. Going outside, building, coloring, shooting some hoops, or drinking a hot cocoa with marshmallows (yes, a bit of sugar and caffeine calms the busy brain). Notice TV and video games did not make the list as they tend to stir up the wake-up hormone, serotonin, rather than acting to calm. We want them calm and capable of managing their emotions before they start homework. They are more likely to be able to handle the problem solving needed when their emotions are in a good place. Stress and frustrations should not be part of doing homework.

Setting aside time to take care of yourself sends a positive message to your children that it is important to take care of yourself so you can be the best parent you can be and they should do the same. What a happier world we would live in, if everyone took time to take care of themselves.

Three Keys to Being More Productive – From Our Archives

by

What does productivity mean to you? Yes, it is about getting things done, but more importantly it is about getting the right things done at the right time.  It is also about making decisions. I am sure you know the feeling of being busy all day long only to wonder at the end of the day what you actually did.  Being busy is not necessarily being productive.  Today’s reality is that we are constantly being bombarded by stimulus (ex. cellphones, internet, social media, news, blog posts, emails, texts, electronic billboards, pop up ads, etc.) we have to be vigilante that all that stimulus doesn’t distract us from the important things. It’s a bit like that dog in the movie UP that yells “squirrel” and runs off after another distraction.

According to two online dictionary definitions, Productivity is “the quality state or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance or bring forth goods and services.” Or it means you “do a lot.” Both of those sound like being a robot; preprogrammed to action without thinking about whether or not what we are doing is important. How do you avoid that?

  1. First step is to set clear boundaries. That word has been overused somewhat but if you think of yourself with a fence around you and only one gate to get in that you control you will get a better idea of what I mean. All this outside stimulus just finds its way to our attention which takes our focus off of the important things or even just the things we want to do. With you in control you get to open the gate and let in only that which is important to you at the time. Or you can be standing in the middle of an open field with no fence and have all that “stuff” assault you from every direction. Which would you prefer?

Ways to set boundaries:

  • Handle or prevent those interruptions that you can control and find a way to limit or cut short those that have you at the mercy of someone else.
  • Turn off your alerts and decide when you will be available.
  • Check email three or four times a day, not constantly
  • Decide if “x” is worth your time, energy or effort before you say yes. Sure, you may want to do it all but at what price?
  • Make/take time for yourself
  1. Taking care of yourself is the next key. I understand you want to do all and be all but you can be of no help if you become ill or feel resentment. Self-care means making the time to exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, socialize and do the things that lower your stress level. Being organized makes your life easier too, why do things the hard way when you don’t have to?

Self-Care keys:

  • Create morning and evening routines that serve you that include a specific bedtime and wake up time.
  • Filter out the extraneous stuff. Let go of commitments you are no longer interested in or are of a lower priority.
  • Set aside some time for yourself. (Sometimes that means locking the bathroom door – do whatever it takes).
  • Organize so that you have efficient systems to handle the everyday stuff. Your home needs to serve you, not make your life more difficult. Make sure you can find what you need quickly and return it to that place when you’re done.
  • Choose wisely grasshopper, as you are trading away time that can never be regained.
  1. Planning and Prioritizing will keep the important things on the top of the list. Having a plan will keep you on track. By creating your list the night before you have time to think about how important those tasks are to you. Without a plan your day can go in any direction but often it is not the direction you want it to go in. Priorities should be based on your goals and dreams as you work towards creating the life of those dreams.

Ways to Plan and Prioritize:

  • It’s okay to not be able to do it all – some things should never be done, and some can easily be put off as long as you are the one that decides. Delegate what you can.
  • Prioritize tasks in a way that honors who you are.
  • Schedule in even the tiniest tasks. If you color code your calendar you can see where the majority of your energy and time is going.
  • Estimate how long you think a task will take and then time yourself. Don’t forget to include commuting time, prep time and clean up time.
  • Be realistic in the amount you can accomplish in one day. Start small and build your momentum by getting the higher priorities or the more distasteful (but important) ones done early.

Keeping these keys in mind will help you live the life you dream of. Good luck.

Three Keys to Being More Productive

by

jugglingwomanWhat does productivity mean to you? Yes, it is about getting things done, but more importantly it is about getting the right things done at the right time.  It is also about making decisions. I am sure you know the feeling of being busy all day long only to wonder at the end of the day what you actually did.  Being busy is not necessarily being productive.  Today’s reality is that we are constantly being bombarded by stimulus (ex. cellphones, internet, social media, news, blog posts, emails, texts, electronic billboards, pop up ads, etc.) we have to be vigilante that all that stimulus doesn’t distract us from the important things. It’s a bit like that dog in the movie UP that yells “squirrel” and runs off after another distraction.

According to two online dictionary definitions, Productivity is “the quality state or fact of being able to generate, create, enhance or bring forth goods and services.” Or it means you “do a lot.” Both of those sound like being a robot; preprogrammed to action without thinking about whether or not what we are doing is important. How do you avoid that?

  1. First step is to set clear boundaries. That word has been overused somewhat but if you think of yourself with a fence around you and only one gate to get in that you control you will get a better idea of what I mean. All this outside stimulus just finds its way to our attention which takes our focus off of the important things or even just the things we want to do. With you in control you get to open the gate and let in only that which is important to you at the time. Or you can be standing in the middle of an open field with no fence and have all that “stuff” assault you from every direction. Which would you prefer?

Ways to set boundaries:

  • Handle or prevent those interruptions that you can control and find a way to limit or cut short those that have you at the mercy of someone else.
  • Turn off your alerts and decide when you will be available.
  • Check email three or four times a day, not constantly
  • Decide if “x” is worth your time, energy or effort before you say yes. Sure, you may want to do it all but at what price?
  • Make/take time for yourself
  1. Taking care of yourself is the next key. I understand you want to do all and be all but you can be of no help if you become ill or feel resentment. Self-care means making the time to exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, socialize and do the things that lower your stress level. Being organized makes your life easier too, why do things the hard way when you don’t have to?

Self-Care keys:

  • Create morning and evening routines that serve you that include a specific bedtime and wake up time.
  • Filter out the extraneous stuff. Let go of commitments you are no longer interested in or are of a lower priority.
  • Set aside some time for yourself. (Sometimes that means locking the bathroom door – do whatever it takes).
  • Organize so that you have efficient systems to handle the everyday stuff. Your home needs to serve you, not make your life more difficult. Make sure you can find what you need quickly and return it to that place when you’re done.
  • Choose wisely grasshopper, as you are trading away time that can never be regained.
  1. Planning and Prioritizing will keep the important things on the top of the list. Having a plan will keep you on track. By creating your list the night before you have time to think about how important those tasks are to you. Without a plan your day can go in any direction but often it is not the direction you want it to go in. Priorities should be based on your goals and dreams as you work towards creating the life of those dreams.

Ways to Plan and Prioritize:

  • It’s okay to not be able to do it all – some things should never be done, and some can easily be put off as long as you are the one that decides. Delegate what you can.
  • Prioritize tasks in a way that honors who you are.
  • Schedule in even the tiniest tasks. If you color code your calendar you can see where the majority of your energy and time is going.
  • Estimate how long you think a task will take and then time yourself. Don’t forget to include commuting time, prep time and clean up time.
  • Be realistic in the amount you can accomplish in one day. Start small and build your momentum by getting the higher priorities or the more distasteful (but important) ones done early.

Keeping these keys in mind will help you live the life you dream of. Good luck.

Self-Care – What's that?

by

happiness-priority-quoteSummer has faded and the leaves are just starting to change. It is time to build up our reserves before the cold weather hits. People all around me are already getting sick and I don’t want that to be me this year.

To protect myself this year I have been looking at habits/routines that don’t serve me. One thing I don’t seem to take enough time for is self-care. We are all busy and that makes it most important to stay healthy. It is time to spend a little time on ourselves. Don’t you agree?

Think about your answers to these questions to determine if you could use a bit more self-care time.

  1. Do you feel like you “run” all day long without taking any time for yourself?
  2. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? (Less than 7?)
  3. When was the last time you took longer than 10 minutes to eat lunch?
  4. When was the last time you were active on purpose? (Took a walk, exercised, played a sport, etc.)
  5. Do you find yourself short on patience, or easily frustrated?

Women are built for nurturing –putting others first and their selves last. With the pace of life today it is easy to see how our reserves can get depleted when we give and give to others and put off taking care of ourselves. Reminds me of the airplane reminder where they caution you to “put your own oxygen mask on first” before helping others.

What do you need to feel like you have taken care of yourself? Can you use a routine or a habit that you already have to add some self-care time to? Maybe start with 15-20 minutes and build from there until you have a new habit that makes you feel like you have nurtured yourself. Some ideas might be, writing in a journal, meditation, taking time to read, gardening, sipping a cup of your favorite tea or soaking in a hot tub.

Or would you prefer a “once and done treat” like a facial, massage or mani/pedi? How about a walk in nature? Studies have shown that walking in nature actually reduces cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is the stress hormone that affects your health in a number of ways. A walk in nature can also help creative thinking and problem solving. It has been shown to have a positive effect on depression and is great exercise too. In a study done in 2009, a walk in nature was shown to improve the attention span of children with ADHD. What will you do for yourself today?

The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to take care of ourselves. Try different things until you find what works for you and it can be different things each day or each week. The key is to make the time and to make taking the time for self-care a habit. I’d love to hear what you’re doing on my Facebook page this month so please share your thoughts there.

Back in the saddle

by

It’s two weeks into the new school year – how are you doing? I hope you have followed some of my tips (see August blogs) and are finding things going a bit smoother than last year. One more week to go before it becomes a habit….unless of course, you haven’t been following the routines each day. Then you are at step one. Baby steps one day at a time for three weeks to a less stressed life. Isn’t it worth a try?

For those with or without children in school, the fall is a great time to do something fun. Check out the adult education classes in your town (or a surrounding town) for ideas. There are classes that meet for one, two or eight sessions depending on what your interests are. Your local newspaper has information on other options such as a Toastmaster’s club, dance lessons or even a scrabble club nearby. There are plenty of options available. I know you are probably thinking I don’t have time for fun. Well, if you don’t take time for fun (which willstar gazing recharge you) then how will you ever take care of your family? Self care comes first and keeping yourself happy and healthy allows you to be at your best for those you love. Isn’t now a good time to start?

I am signing up for a two night class that allows me to look at the stars through a powerful telescope. Time commitment 3 hours, the recharging of my soul as I realize I am only a speck in the grand plan of things…..priceless. What fun will you have?  I’d love to hear about it.