routines

Coffee and Routines

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Routines keep us goingRoutines, we all have them. Some are helpful and some are not. Routines that are based on good habits are sets of things we do every day that have a positive effect. You probably have a morning routine that gets you and your family out the door in the morning, and an evening routine that ends the day. Do they serve you? By that I mean do they make things run smoothly, keeping you relaxed or do they add chaos, disorganization or a sense of hurriedness to your life?

I think the holiday season is one time where the impact of disrupting the routines of the day can show its effect. Behaviors erupt, patience is thin, and chaos reigns. If there is any ADHD in the family, then those routines/habits are even more important. For those with ADHD, a routine may not always be the same from day to day. In fact, for most people/children with ADHD every day is a new day and often a new “routine”. However, it definitely helps if those with ADHD can create a routine of good habits so that they are on automatic pilot rather than having to take the time to figure out what they should do next. It is the thinking “now what do I have to do?” that causes the mind to go blank or to act on whatever is in front of them.

According to pediatricians at www.healthychildren.org, ““Every family needs routines. They help to organize life and keep it from becoming too chaotic. Children do best when routines are regular, predictable, and consistent.” We’ve all seen this. A sudden change of plans can send our day into a tailspin or worse, change our normally happy youngster’s personality into something we don’t recognize (tantrums optional). Routines for kids provide a sense of predictability and that makes them feel safe. It does the same for adults although I would change the feeling of safety to a sense of control.

Routines teach responsibility, organization, and cooperation and positively reduce your stress level, save you time and energy and bring a sense of control to your daily life. It is that simple. Routines are beneficial in the morning, after school or when returning home for the day, dinner time, and bedtime. It’s not just about the “basics” of a routine as there is often room to add something to your routine that you feel has been missing. For example: it is not just about remembering to brush your teeth at night, but also about ending your day on a positive note. Are you watching TV until bed and then tossing and turning or do you read something positive after having set yourself up for a stress free morning?(Clothes out, lunches packed or planned, keys on hook, phone charging, etc.)

Take a look at your routines and those of your family and see if they are beneficial or not. If things are not working, figure out why and try something new. Keep at it until it works. If things are working well, then you might want to consider adding something to an already established routine. Research shows that linking a new behavior to something that is already “routine” makes it easier for it to become a habit. I have added writing in a journal to my morning routine that also includes listing three things I am grateful for. It starts my day with gratitude and a positive attitude. What will you add to your routine?

Self-Care – What's that?

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happiness-priority-quoteSummer has faded and the leaves are just starting to change. It is time to build up our reserves before the cold weather hits. People all around me are already getting sick and I don’t want that to be me this year.

To protect myself this year I have been looking at habits/routines that don’t serve me. One thing I don’t seem to take enough time for is self-care. We are all busy and that makes it most important to stay healthy. It is time to spend a little time on ourselves. Don’t you agree?

Think about your answers to these questions to determine if you could use a bit more self-care time.

  1. Do you feel like you “run” all day long without taking any time for yourself?
  2. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? (Less than 7?)
  3. When was the last time you took longer than 10 minutes to eat lunch?
  4. When was the last time you were active on purpose? (Took a walk, exercised, played a sport, etc.)
  5. Do you find yourself short on patience, or easily frustrated?

Women are built for nurturing –putting others first and their selves last. With the pace of life today it is easy to see how our reserves can get depleted when we give and give to others and put off taking care of ourselves. Reminds me of the airplane reminder where they caution you to “put your own oxygen mask on first” before helping others.

What do you need to feel like you have taken care of yourself? Can you use a routine or a habit that you already have to add some self-care time to? Maybe start with 15-20 minutes and build from there until you have a new habit that makes you feel like you have nurtured yourself. Some ideas might be, writing in a journal, meditation, taking time to read, gardening, sipping a cup of your favorite tea or soaking in a hot tub.

Or would you prefer a “once and done treat” like a facial, massage or mani/pedi? How about a walk in nature? Studies have shown that walking in nature actually reduces cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is the stress hormone that affects your health in a number of ways. A walk in nature can also help creative thinking and problem solving. It has been shown to have a positive effect on depression and is great exercise too. In a study done in 2009, a walk in nature was shown to improve the attention span of children with ADHD. What will you do for yourself today?

The best thing we can do for our loved ones is to take care of ourselves. Try different things until you find what works for you and it can be different things each day or each week. The key is to make the time and to make taking the time for self-care a habit. I’d love to hear what you’re doing on my Facebook page this month so please share your thoughts there.

10 Ways to Shake Things Up and Build Your Brain Too

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pail and shovel beachAugust is known as the back to school month. It is usually a month of anticipation and anxiety. Parents are out purchasing school supplies and clothes for kids that are both excited and nervous about the new school year. College students are getting ready to head to school this month and so you may notice a bit of an “attitude”. It is really just their excitement and anxiety building as they try to define their evolving relationship with mom and dad. What about you? How do you feel now that the summer is coming to an end?

If you have kids then the switch back into the school calendar is a jolt to your child’s routine. It is smart to start “practicing” some skills now before the mad rush begins. Maybe you start working the bedtime back, insist they get dressed before coming downstairs, have them lay out their clothes the night before….all simple things that will help create positive habits for the school year. What new habit would you like to create that will make your life better? You can’t expect this year to be any different if you don’t DO anything different.

The fall is a great time to take an evening course, pick up a new hobby or sign up for an exercise class with a friend. Check out what is available in your area and fits your schedule. Stepping out of your comfort zone and learning something new is a great way to keep your mind active. It builds new brain synapses (or connections) and that’s a good thing. Changing up the daily routine helps too. Here are some ideas to shake things up a bit.

  1. Take a different route to/from work (maybe stop at the beach for some quiet time before heading home).
  2. Eat with your non dominant hand (it will slow down your eating and make you more mindful).
  3. Change up your morning routine and turn off the auto pilot
  4. Go to bed earlier
  5. Watch less TV (or make one or two days TV free)
  6. Shut down electronics an hour before bed (the blue light they give off messes with your sleep hormones)
  7. Get up and move every ½ hour for at least two minutes during your workday. Better yet walk for 30 – 45 minutes every day. Wear a pedometer and try to beat each day’s steps.
  8. Learn something new or challenge yourself in some way. New recipe? New language? New hobby? New vegetable?
  9. Check email only three times a day (unless it is work related) and never before your first “to do” is done.
  10. Use a planner or calendar app to actually plan out the night before the top 3-5 things you will accomplish tomorrow. Start each day fresh; don’t just move items to the next day. Pick the things that you really want/need to get done.

We often become so programmed that we are on autopilot throughout a large portion of our day. There’s one month left to the summer, make the most of it and “shake” things up. Your brain (and probably your family) will thank you.

This is from the Laine’s Logic Newsletter Archives. If you would like to get our monthly newsletter, you can sign up here: http://www.laineslogic.com/children