Homework Hassles

I can still remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. My son, frustrated at my hovering over his homework, looked up and said, “Mom, you are on me like a shirt!”

I was shocked! I thought I was being helpful. In retrospect, I was doing the opposite. I wasn’t allowing him to learn on his own, to develop critical thinking and problem solving skills, to become responsible and accountable to his teacher (rather than to me), or to learn self discipline. I was preventing him from learning all the skills I thought I was “teaching” him.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think it is important to be supportive of your child if they are having difficulty with their homework. Helping them problem solve without giving them the answers by getting them to “think aloud” through the process they went through can get them to figure out the next steps on their own.

The problems arise when we let our emotions get in the way of our relationship with our child. If your child has ADD/ADHD or executive function challenges then you face the added challenges of getting them to start their homework or to stick with it long enough to finish. This often leads to tension and frustration for both of you and ends up being worse than the homework itself.

Whether your child is in elementary, middle or high school, you want them to succeed and often that means trying to support them without nagging or helping them too much. As parents we get caught up in the “getting it done” mode and not the” how can we make this easier so it doesn’t happen again” mode. For example, by not teaching your child how to plan out a project but instead making his attempt to redeem himself at the last moment rather unpleasant. Then it should be no surprise that he will associate anger, frustration, and aggravation with a long term project that given the right circumstances, he might have actually enjoyed. End result: nothing learned.

Wouldn’t it be nice if someone else could teach them how to plan out that project and get it done ahead of time or learn how to study for a test so that a good grade was practically guaranteed? I don’t think it can be a parent because we are too close and too emotionally involved to be neutral. But a program that systematically teaches skills that are needed to be successful in school directly to your tween or teen through daily email lessons, now that is…..brilliant!

Watch for the launch of our new E-Learning Homework Course coming soon at: www.endhomeworkhassle.com

Homework Help for Parents

Is your child spending hours doing homework and then struggling to get up the next morning? With the first quarter coming to an end you will be able to see what grades all that studying has produced. Is the time spent reflected in the grades? If not, here are ten tips to help

1. Have your student start their homework within 30 minutes of arriving home from school.  Waiting until after dinner only makes the brain work harder since the body is working to digest dinner.

2. Have them take time to have a snack of protein and complex carbohydrates (the brain needs energy too) before getting started or to nibble on while they work.  

3. Doing something active for about 15 minutes even if it is just walking around the neighborhood or shooting a few hoops will help send blood and oxygen to the brain.

4. Set a timer for 45 minutes and have them get to work on the toughest subject first. If you feel your child does not have an accurate sense of time you might want to use a kitchen timer or time timer that shows the passage of time.

5. Make sure all the supplies they need are within arm’s reach of their study space.

6. Limit the distractions. Keep the TV off and the noise level low so that they will not be distracted by what others are doing. If your child is an auditory learner, having music playing in the background can be helpful. There are classical compilations designed to enhance concentration.

7. Help your child estimate how much time they think it will take to complete all homework accurately and completely and then add 30 minutes. The general rule is 10 minutes for each grade level. For example, a sixth grader should have about an hour of homework. Suggest they plan what they will do for fun or relaxation when their homework is done.

8. After working for 45 minutes or so, students should take a 10-15 minute break. It should be long enough for them to get recharged but not long enough for them to start something else.

9. Don’t over book your child! Kids need “downtime” too. Take a look at their schedule and make sure they have time for homework,  friends and family.

10. Use a central calendar that is updated each weekend for the upcoming week and have students write down their commitments in their agenda books. Family meetings help insure that everyone knows what is coming up for the week.

 

Next: Learning styles and how they can help save time.

 

 

 

3 More Tips to Organize for Back to School

Organize for back to schoolNow that you have set up a system for handling incoming and outgoing papers, a landing pad area and a central calendar (see last week’s blog), you are ready to organize the study area and backpack.

 

4. The study space should be away from the hustle and bustle of the kitchen. Yes, it is convenient for children to work on the kitchen table, but the noise of dinner preparation and other siblings really makes it difficult for children to focus on their homework. Ever wonder why it seems to take them so long to finish? Set up a quiet place away from others for your child to work. Give the child a timer so that they can “see” how long they have been working. Depending on their age children should work in blocks of 15 minutes to 40 minutes and then should take a 10 minute break. Doing something active will help stimulate the brain, making learning easier. Instead of saving the most difficult subject for last, it should be done first while the brain is the most energized. After that, take a short break and the rest of the homework will seem much easier. Check on your child now and then to see how they are doing. For those with ADD, set the timer for 15 minutes and have them come to you and tell you what they are working on. Keep a list of their subjects and have them check off each one as they complete it.

5. Make sure all the supplies that your child needs for their homework are within an easy reach of the study area. Using a whiteboard for calculations saves paper. Check to be sure that the chair is comfortable and ergonomically correct. Feet should be flat on the floor and not dangling above it. Lighting is another key factor. It should not be behind the child casting a shadow or too bright and glaring. Consider this-would you want to work in their space?

If your child prefers the floor or the bed to work on, provide a clipboard or hard surface for writing, but do not insist they sit at the desk. Set up a desk top file to hold returned papers for each subject area. That way when tests are coming up your child has all previous homework and papers to study from.

6. The backpack is often seen as a big black hole where things seem to disappear. Help your child organize it by naming each pocket and deciding what belongs there. Create a little “map” of what the inside looks like and use it to see where things belong until it becomes a habit or label each pocket. Using clear poly folders with bright colored end tabs makes it easy to find homework papers. Teach your child to put books and notebooks in according to size. It is very easy for a small book to get lost between two big notebooks. Color code subjects so that notebooks and textbooks are easy to locate. Use zippered pockets in bright colors to keep things separate. Check the fit of the backpack and the weight when packed. It should not hang more than four inches below the waistline when both padded straps are used. The weight of the backpack should not exceed 10% of your child’s weight. Encourage your child to bring home only what he needs and not just load the entire locker into the backpack, “just in case.” Next blog is organizing for the week and creating routines to keep you and the kids on track.

What is your favorite tip for keeping your child organized?  Please comment below. Thanks for reading!