Organizing for School

Homework Coach or Enforcer?

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frustrated over homeworkIs homework a battle in your home? If you find that it has become a nightly battle or that your child or teen has lost interest in school; then it may be time to try a different approach. I will admit I sympathize with teens trying to become independent when often the adults around them are inadvertently taking away their sense of control. If you find that you are constantly asking them if their homework is done or suggesting ways for them to get it done then here are five tips to take you from homework enforcer to homework coach. Remember the role of a good coach is to encourage problem solving skills, develop independence and provide support when needed.

          • The first and most important step is to realize whether or not you are enabling your child/teen to feel helpless. If you are constantly reminding them to do their homework, get ready for school, pack their backpack, or go to bed why would they need to remember? The same thing applies if you are solving their problems for them or designing their notebook your way. All of these things take the pressure off of your teen and puts it on you. You’ll need to work together to figure out how much your teen can do independently and what he or she might need a little support for. I know it is often easier to keep track of it yourself, but teaching your teen to problem solve, keep track of assignments and get their work done independently are all skills they need to develop for a successful life.
          • Ask questions that begin with the word, “what” rather than “did” or “is”. Questions that require a simple yes or no answer will only get you the one word answer. Ask a question that requires them to answer in a sentence that gives you some real information. For example, “What homework do you have left to do?” This sounds less judgmental and requires more than a one word answer to reply. Good coaches ask higher level questions that need explanations, rather than simple one word replies.
          • Start with the end in mind, is a term that Stephen Covey used but is helpful for those having trouble with completing homework. Help your child visualize what that assignment or project looks like when it is completed. Then you can guide them to work backwards to include all the steps necessary to get it to that point. You can also help “backwards plan” long term projects with specific dates to work on the pieces of the project. If necessary, create the plan together and then have certain check ins rather than always asking if it is done.
          • Discuss with your child/teen what kind of an environment is best for them to work in. Do they like it quiet and away from the rest of the family or do they like to be where the action is? Many younger students don’t like to be alone in their rooms, for them it is easier to work in the kitchen or close by. Use a trifold foam board to create a distraction free zone and keep the TV and radio off and let them use their own music with ear buds. I have read that music can “satisfy” the hungry ADHD brain by providing enough stimulation to help it relax. This is done by listening to the same playlist every day during homework time. It is not picking each song but pressing play once and letting the same music play lightly in the background for about 30-45 minutes. That is long enough to get some work done. Have them take a short break and then get back to their homework and play that list of songs again.
          • Make sure your children have some “down” time. Everyone is entitled to relax after a long day. In fact, research says that having some down time after working, helps the brain to process what was just learned. Many students are not getting the 8-9 hours of sleep they need to do their best. Those with ADHD will benefit from designing a “routine” for sleep. Start with shutting down electronics at least 30 minutes before bed (the blue light stimulates serotonin the wake up hormone), dim the lights (good for increasing melatonin the sleep hormone) and relax. Add in the other bedtime get ready tasks and aim to have them in bed around the same time each night. Aim for at least 8 hours but 9 is ideal.

Parents, you are your child/teen’s life line.They may continue to need your support throughout school but as they enter middle and high school, it is time for them to develop their problem solving skills. That means they don’t need you to solve their problems or challenges for them but to work with them to come up with solutions together. Stay calm. When stressed, cortisol, the stress hormone, is released into the body and it can literally shut down the brain making it nearly impossible to think. Students cannot force their stressed brain to think at that point and it is best to take a break and go do something active. Exercise increases the level of dopamine and other neurotransmitters (good chemicals) in the brain that can help get them back on track. If the situation gets too stressful, it is best to just walk away. Homework is homework….let the teacher deal with it.

Thanks for reading,

Laine

Hey Students – It is OKAY to Get Help

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Good grades start at home

The best kept secret these days is that going to see the teacher after school can improve your teen’s grades. Over the last several months I have asked a number of students (many of them clients whom I see because they or their parents want their grades to improve) if they go after school to get extra help. 90% of them say no. They say things like, “I can do it on my own I just have to take the time, work harder, study more,” etc. The other 10% say they have and that they found it helpful. If your teen is part of the 90%, you might want to ask your friends if their teens go after for help. Then without mentioning names of course, you can say you know of x number of other kids who do and they found it helpful maybe their grades have even gone up.

I usually suggest that for a teen’s toughest subject, they go after once or twice a week for two or three weeks and then compare their grade on the most recent quiz or test to one that they had before they started going after school. Once they see that the scores have gone up (and that some of their friends are there too) they might not be so apprehensive about going.

If that does not work then encourage them to at least ask the Internet wizards by searching for their topic/problem online. Sites like www.khanacademy.org, (video and audio combo makes this site my favorite) www.quizlet.com, (for flashcards and flashcard practice) and www.factmonster.com (although I don’t like the fact this site has ads) are places to start. Students can even “Google” quadratic equations for example (or whatever is stumping them at the time) and come up with over 4 million sites that can help. Sometimes students cannot understand the concept from the way it was presented in class, just getting another perspective from the Internet can make it click. Yes, I do recommend reading Sparknotes too if they struggle with reading comprehension, but they HAVE TO do the reading first and course notes for other subjects.

Winter break is a great time to take a look at some sites and do a little recon work to find help for those concepts they may not have mastered. Dare I say the midyear exams are only a week away. Whatever they have not understood up to this point, usually comes back to haunt them on the midyear or final exam.

It is okay to get help. Working harder at understanding something that you truly don’t understand is usually ineffective. As a coach I find guiding students to find their own solutions (and making it look like it was their idea) is very rewarding for all.

Lights! Camera!…..ACTION! 15 Steps to Get Going

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frustrated studentTaking action and following through on something that has to be done is often difficult for those with ADHD or Executive Functioning challenges. In most cases, students and adults understand the importance of completing something but find it difficult to actually “move themselves” to action. What is happening in the brain, in my understanding, is that the level of dopamine is not sufficient to reliably carry messages/signals from one side of the brain to the other or to provide enough motivation for action. That makes this difficulty neurobiological and not motivational. There is a big difference there as often we have seen things get completed before and feel that if it can be done once why not every time? Such is life with ADHD and/or Executive Dysfunction. Inconsistent ability to take action doesn’t occur alone, it often involves other executive functions like, organization, planning, working memory, task initiation, self-regulation, focus and time management. So rather than it being one simple cause, it is often a combination of things that is getting in the way. Also not learning from previous experiences plays into why this same thing continues to happen over and over again. If possible try to break it down to see what is really getting in the way and work on one piece of the puzzle at a time.

Here’s what it may look like in students:

Inconsistent ability to complete homework regularly (or long hours spent doing it)
Last minute approach to long term projects
Being late or last minute
May look like a lack of motivation, not caring, or teen age “attitude”
Failing tests due to inability to study enough (or up past midnight studying)

In adults:

Often late (but only by a little bit) or last minute on meeting important deadlines
Procrastination and/or lack of follow through
High energy and always appear to be very busy without actually accomplishing a lot.
“Paralyzed” when they don’t know how to do something or don’t want to do it
Inability to prioritize

Here’s what can help:

    1. Make a “must do” list that only includes the top two or three things you must get to
    2. Start with the most interesting task first
    3. Set false deadlines for yourself or be accountable to someone else for completion
    4. Break it down into manageable size actionable steps and use verbs for each step
    5. Set goals and behavior contracts weekly with students (too far in advance is worthless)
    6. Act as a body double for your student by being close by during homework time and doing your “homework”
    7. Teach your child to “talk to themselves” and ask questions to keep themselves on track
    8. Support them or provide supports for them but don’t do it for them
    9. Keep the end in mind – what will the homework look like when completed and what will I do after it is?
    10. “Suffer” through five minutes – it may motivate enough to keep going
    11. Exercise or do something active to increase the dopamine in the brain before beginning (snacks and water help too)
    12. Remind yourself and/or your student of past successes
    13. Change the environment, change the task or change the expectations
    14. Use timers and allow five minute breaks for every 30 minutes of work (minimize distractions)
    15. Use plenty of positive reinforcement that mentions specific actions you see your child doing

Motivating someone else or even yourself to take action often depends on how important the task seems (that adrenaline rush is actually raising the dopamine levels too). If someone else (usually your kids or spouse) is waiting on you to do something you may be more likely to do it. In school, students can often “force” themselves to get something done for a favorite teacher or subject but may feel it is torturous for their least favorite. Start small and put checklists, timers, notes to self (especially where you leave off on a project) and use the steps above that help. Having something to look forward to can often provide an extra push so be sure to reward yourself and/or your child. Now, get going!

Stuck? 12 Ways to Encourage Cognitive Flexibility

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cognitive flexibility brainThe best way to describe the executive function of cognitive flexibility is to think of Einstein’s definition of insanity. “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” That would be cognitive inflexibility. Cognitive flexibility is the ability to notice when your thinking process is not working or to notice when changes have occurred and to be flexible enough to adapt the thought process and to think differently about it. It may be that the goal of the project changed, something in the environment has changed, or the next step cannot be completed due to outside forces and thus the individual becomes stuck and can’t continue.

On the Behavioral Inventory of Executive Functions (BRIEF) there are two categories that relate to this skill; cognitive shift and behavioral shift. Together they can indicate a student’s ability to try different approaches to something whether it is in their thinking or in actually changing their behavior when they notice it is not working. Solving a math problem is a good example of this. The student knows what the answer should be and solves the problem. When the answer is not right, they erase it and try again. Often they are repeating the same mistakes without realizing it.

In students:

  • Stuck on a math problem but not realizing they are doing the same thing and are surprised the answer isn’t different.
  • Difficulty adjusting to changes in plans
  • Projects have various parts to them and when students get stuck on one piece they are unable to move forward.
  • Creative writing is a real challenge as they cannot generate new ideas as they get stuck in one frame of thought.

In adults:

  • Following processes that aren’t effective because “I’ve always done it this way.”
  • Easily “thrown off course” when conditions change
  • Difficulty providing multiple solutions or ideas or in synthesizing something new out of given information

Strategies:

  1. Give advance notice of changes with visual and/or verbal reminders (timers too)
  2. When stuck or when you see the frustration start to build, suggest a break to do something active
  3. Leave yourself a note explaining where you left off, so when you return you can pick it back up quickly
  4. Encourage brainstorming and generating multiple ideas before settling on a specific approach
  5. Start with the end in mind and work backwards
  6. Ask for help, Google it or use a website like www.khanacademy.org
  7. Use a whiteboard and don’t erase the previous approach
  8. Use stories of past successful approaches to remind them of other options/approaches
  9. Create a mind map (using colors and different shapes for key ideas)
  10. Have a backwards day where everything is done backwards
  11. Write down the approaches tried and list other options or give choices
  12. If they play video games, you can get them to explain the different strategies they used to advance to the next level and compare that to their school work

Helping your child brainstorm and learn ways to become more flexible in their thinking will help them become better problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful students. The world is not predictable and we all need to learn to adapt to the changes it may throw at us so that it doesn’t throw us off course.

 

What to Do When You’re Stuck in the Mud with a Fried Brain

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fried brainThe pressure of homework or rather the pressure of finishing homework for that valuable checkmark is taking away from the point of homework. It used to be that homework was a review of what was learned in school that day, but now often times students are “re”teaching themselves because teachers do not allow enough time for students to process new information.

When students get really focused or feel pressured to get their homework done it is almost like they put blinders on. They are no longer really learning the material they are just trying to get through the assignment. I want to give them credit for persevering but also want them to know that at some point they become less effective and should stop. How many times have you seen your child do a math problem over and over again expecting a different answer? Middle and High School students often have the answer to the math problem and their job is to set up the equation and get that answer. Lots of things can go wrong in this process (calculation error, wrong sign, solved in the wrong order, wrong equation, etc.) but students tend to erase and start again – exactly the same way.

This is called cognitive inflexibility. It happens in kids, teens and adults and is the inability to switch your approach or your thinking to problem solving when what you are doing isn’t working or something changes. It is like getting stuck in mud and not even realizing it. So in the above example, they erase the problem and because they are not 100% tuned in, they could be repeating the same process or same error over again. This can go on and on and that makes homework take longer and longer. Talk to your student about this at a time when they are not stressed about homework and print out the four steps below for them. Help them add to the list.

What to do when you are stuck on your homework:

1. Stop and take a look at what you have done. Check for errors or misunderstandings. If you don’t see anything then go to number 2.

2. Take a non-electronic break (5-15 minutes) and let your subconscious mind work on it and then go back and try it one more time.

3. Stop erasing and use a whiteboard after the first attempt so you can see all of your answers. What is happening?

4. Brainstorm other things you can do. For example you could: Skip it and come back to it, call or text a friend in your class, go back to the text book and reread key information, check your class notes, go in early or stay late for extra help, Google it or use a website like www.khanacademy.org to help.

For whatever reason, students seem to think that they “shouldn’t” use other resources to help them solve a problem. When this happens, they often end up wasting so much time trying to figure things out when a simple search or call to a friend could solve that quickly.

Nothing So Wrong With Us That What Is Right With Us, Can't Fix

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topnav-logoThat was the title of a keynote speech at the CHADD (Children and Adults with ADHD) conference I attended last November by Mark Katz. Think about that title for a minute. As Mark explained, it is the meaning that we attach to adversity and/or the meaning that others attach that influences how we feel about it and how we feel about ourselves. If those experiences are negative, as they can be for many students with ADHD, then it takes more “strength” to stay mentally strong and to not let those experiences determine how they feel about themselves. We know they can do it, just not consistently. So point out that circumstances/difficulties are temporary, not permanent, and that there is usually a light at the end of the tunnel to aim for.

Key Points:

Teach kids that their intelligence is not fixed, it is malleable. Push them to roll up their sleeves and try again. Avoid saying things like, “you’re so smart” as it implies that intelligence is fixed and sends a conflicting message to them when they fail.

Make “making mistakes” a valued part of learning. Encourage constructive learning. Have a mistake jar where chips are put in for mistakes and then reward the family when the jar is full.

Build resiliency. Focus on the positive.

Level the playing field by helping students learn to use the tools, strategies and technologies that work best for them.

Encourage their interests and support them as they find what interests them and what they are good at.

Bottom line – do whatever it takes to keep your child’s self-esteem intact. It’s how they feel about themselves that will determine how well he or she succeeds.

This is an article that was in our December newsletter. If you are not already on the list you can sign up for this free monthly newsletter here: www.laineslogic.com/children.html

Motivation Holds the Key – For Students

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motivation

Motivation is that hidden power that gets you to do something that you might not have otherwise wanted to do. It has been defined as an “incentive, drive or desire to do.” It is the inspiration that pushes you to score that goal, or ace that test. It can help you keep at something when you would prefer to quit.

Now I know that it can be difficult to motivate yourself when it comes to school stuff. I get that. But without understanding the “why” behind what you are doing, you may never find that extra motivation to get you through the tough times.

They say there are two types of motivation, extrinsic and intrinsic. Some people are motivated by external or extrinsic rewards – things that can be bought or received (games, toys, $). Others are motivated by internal or intrinsic rewards. Intrinsic motivation is like the special feeling an “A” brings, or that feeling of pride in yourself when you make the honor roll. I think there are two other types of motivation – pain and pleasure. For those that are motivated by pain, they work harder to avoid the “pain” (getting grounded or losing the computer). Those motivated by pleasure are motivated to get things done in order to be rewarded like extra time with friends, or staying up later. So, once you know which motivates you, you can create options for increasing your own motivation.

Today I’d like you to think about what motivates you. What gives you that extra energy or incentive to push harder when you really don’t want to? Is it extrinsic, intrinsic, pain or pleasure motivated? Why are you working hard to get good grades and what helps push you to work your best? Share with your parents and get them on your team. You are half way through the school year… knowing this and using it, can help you through the rest of the year.

What is your key to motivating yourself? Finding your “why” and making it important. That will help you push through when the homework or the studying gets tough because you have a reason that is important to you. You have found what motivates you.

Motivation holds the key!

The Past Does Not Equal The Future

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I am not sure who said “the past does not equal the future” (maybe Tony Robbins) but I think it is an important reminder as we start the new school year.  Just because “x, y and z” happened last year, does not mean it will happen again this year. Each new school year is a chance to start over…a bit like new years. It does have some of the same problems though….we start off fresh and then fall back into our old habits just like those resolutions that last a day or a week.

This year, why not focus on the positive. Acknowledge your child every day they sit down and get to their homework on their own. Rather than “that’s great!” try something that shows how responsible they are being or mentions the new habits they are developing that can lead to improved grades. This encourages them to put the specifics together with their feelings about what you said. This ignites a little intrinsic motivation fire that hopefully they will want to continue to fuel. When kids feel good about themselves and what they can do…there is no stopping them.

Staying with the theme of the positive this year, ask “what” questions rather than “why” questions. Can you hear the difference between: “What homework will you work on next?” And “Why isn’t your math done yet?” It’s all a matter of how you phrase things. Asking “why” questions has an implied judgment in it, don’t you think?

Parents, the new school year isn’t just a fresh start for your child, it is for you too. What can you do to make “x”, “y” and “z” better for yourself and your family this year?

Wishing all my clients and their families (and students and families everywhere) an organized, calm, and successful school year.

For more helpful tips and strategies, sign up for our monthly newsletter here.

It's About TIME

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time-timerIt is almost time for getting back to school. If last year was a struggle, it was probably about that four letter word…T I M E.

Does your child have the same perception/understanding about time that you do? If you feel that you are often encouraging them to “hurry up” or if they sometimes miss the bus or stay up late completing a project then you might want to try this experiment. Gather the family and a stop watch. Ask the children to close their eyes and not open them until they feel a minute of time has passed. Each individual will guess differently. Now have them time you. Is their sense of a minute longer or shorter than yours? Are you thinking it has been a minute when it has only been 30 seconds? Sometimes children haven’t developed that internal sense of the passing of time. Sometimes adults are in such a state of “rush” that they lose that sense of time. Using analog clocks and visual timers like a time timer can help develop that internal sense.

Next thing to figure out is how much time is available and what is it being used for? I suggest having your child keep track of his time on a time log. It is a great way to see where the time is going. Is there enough time for homework or are after school activities cutting that short? Sometimes, kids are doing the best they can but they are so exhausted from other activities, that homework only gets the minimum amount of effort. Other times they are just wasting the time or are multitasking between homework and Face Book.

So, is there enough time for the homework? Check the planner. If the student is using it, they should begin to estimate the amount of time each subject will take them. Add up those estimates and decide if there REALLY is enough time.

There are two drawbacks to a paper planner. Assignments are usually written in on the day they are given and not on the day they are due. So, if a project or test is due a week away, there is no reminder once the planner page has been turned. Secondly, a planner doesn’t provide the big picture view of what is due. Many students are using the calendar feature on their iPod touch or Google calendar to keep track of assignments and also to set reminders. Electronic reminders don’t forget and… kids don’t see them as “nagging” either.

Printing out the calendar view or writing all assignments on a monthly calendar helps to give the big picture view of what is coming up. Be sure to write in all activities and appointments so that students know exactly how much time they have to get homework done. The big picture also helps them see how many days they will need to work on a long term project.  It allows them to add in small blocks of studying over several days to prep for a test. This has been shown to be more effective than cramming the night before. Using these strategies will help your child begin to understand that time can’t be stretched and if they want to have free time to themselves, they need to use the time they have efficiently.

If you’d like to stop “reminding” your child about homework every day and begin to build independence then check out our daily email program called end homework hassle. Each day a new strategy or skill is sent to your child through email. You get a weekly update of the content so you can support them as they go.

What Did You Learn Last Year?

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Now is the time to review the last school year with your child and use that knowledge for the upcoming year. You’re looking for the “best practices” – those things that worked really well both at home and at school and that you would like to see continue next year.

If your child has ADHD do you think the teacher clearly understood ADHD and were they helpful in providing strategies for school and home? What were the skills the teacher had that you feel benefitted your child? Good teachers have excellent class management strategies, and are organized so that there is little “down time” in between activities. Teachers are flexible and use positive rather than negative reinforcements. They encourage and stimulate your child’s creative abilities. Teachers that do not understand the neurobiology of ADHD tend to have the opposite effect on children – they dislike school, do poorly and it becomes a struggle all year long.

First, how would you rate this year on a scale of one to five? How would your child rate it? What would make it a five? Think about those things and create your own list together to use for the new school year. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Homework strategies:

Do your child’s grades correspond to the amount of time they spent on homework?

Did they work right up until bedtime?

Did they “multitask” between homework and Facebook?

How much is too much time? (Most towns go by the 10 minute per grade rule – check the handbook)

Routines: Would you give yourself an A or an F?

Updating a master calendar for the family weekly

Having meals planned ahead of time (so you can all eat together)

Making sure your child has time to be a “kid” each day

Preparing for the next day the night before

Weekly backpack clean out and a “get ready” for the week

Things to think about for next year

After school commitments – was your child overbooked?

(Could or would you keep the same kind of schedule?)

How much sleep does your child get? (Teens need between 8.5 and 11 hours)

Are mornings rushed? What can you do to reduce that?

If you do this and plan the beginning of the year using it, you can avoid falling back on some old habits that can creep in if you’re not careful. Together you can make it a great year. For now, enjoy the summer.